Living Vicariously

I wish my life was glamorous. I know I was made to enjoy the spot light -- there was a time when I denounced astrological signs, because I'm supposed to be a Leo and yet I am such an introvert. But it turns out, I suck in the spot light like a baby sucks in milk. I love it. I love being admired -- when complimented on their intelligence, all the other kids would wave and say, "no I'm not" in sincere modesty (so it seems) I often replied, "Thank you, I know." And why not? I am intelligent. I am tall. I have flawless skin. I have fab personality. I work hard, and have ambition. I'm not being conceited -- I like to say that I am being honest.

So it is increasingly frustrating for someone who should be globetrotting around the world, to wittle her thumb, waiting for nursing applications to get processed, immigration status to be resolved, instead of getting a move on in life. I'm pretty sure that whatever hardships that come my way, I can kick it in the groin (really hard!) and claim victory, and I have been doing so in the past. But I know, that I am meant for something bigger, something greater, influential and important. But I'm stuck.

Imagine: You are going on a trip around the world. You are going to see the Taj Mahal, the Great Pyramids of Giza, the Eiffel Tower, the beaches in Cancun, a bonzai garden in Japan, the Buckingham Palace, and the Great Wall of China. You packed your bags, and you get to the airport, to find that your plane has been delayed indefinitely. Hours later, all you see on the flight detail screen is the acronym TBA. My plane is being delayed, indefinitely. After getting stuck at the O'Hare Int'l Airport for 11 hours due to a snow storm, that imagery alone is horrid enough for me.

So what am I doing in the mean time? I'm renovating myself. One of the toughest things to do is to wait. I am very well-known for my patience, but even that is running out. So to keep myself focused, I always do things to update myself: learn French (conversational -- haven't had the time to get past the audio CD's yet), take different classes from different fields, learn html by doing, read the manual for my digital camera, etc. etc.. So when the spot light comes, I'll be ready to get this show on stage.