Match.com

Match.com

I just could not stop laughing. Well, y'all know that I have a profile posted at Match.com, just in case my knight in shining armor was an internet geek such as myself. Well, they've recently added more features to aid in your search for that soulmate -- namely, the physical attraction test. Here's part of my result:

Very Picky: It's official: You're "picky." The fact is you are drawn to the most handsome of the handsome. You know what you like in men and are more selective than most women your age. Your tastes seem instinctual. You'd make a great casting agent, because you have a good eye for men who have "star quality." In real life, your high standards may be an obstacle for you. It's hard to find a man with the strong features you like, who's also well-rounded in other ways. Still, you know the importance of a real physical "spark" in a relationship, and aren't willing (or able) to settle for less. The challenge is finding a man who really wows you physically, even if he's not the most handsome man in the room.

Ok. So I'm picky. But the sample photos of men they were showing were just a hideous batch! I could not believe that these were actual human beings! Some of them just looked like photoshop gone wrong. Almost alien, martian, if you will, in proportions. And such gaping smiles! Eek. I could not stop laughing as I had to weed out the attractive from the unattractive. They were one hilarious looking batch of people.

I did gain, besides the uncontrollable laughter, a new awareness of what my ideal (at least physically) man is like. He is blue-eyed, for one thing -- it turns out that about half the men I've designated as attractive had blue eyes, although I didn't even notice. I guess it's the workings of my subconscious. Also, while I always thought that I preferred blondes over brunettes (see? It's not just gentlemen who prefer blondes...) but I chose no blonde men as attractive. All the men I chose as attractive had dark brown hair.

This test, is biased. There were no red-headed men. It also made me racist, because I didn't choose any Asian, African American/Black, Latino men as attractive. Well, that's just my physical preference, isn't it? Although I could have sworn that I chose this rather distinguished African American gentleman with glasses as attractive. One of the picture picking activities was: "Imagine these are the last 5 men on earth. Pick one that you could tolerate best." I mean, what the heck is that??? I'd rather not check out guys with the mindset "hey, if he was the last man on earth, would I consummate with him to reproduce the species?... nah.."

So what did my ideal hunk look like? An actual hunk. The funny thing is, all the men I've dated in the past are below average, in regards to their physical attributes. Obviously I am not that picky if I dated them. I'm not being harsh, because my best friend, who has very generous standards of male beauty (she basically finds almost all guys cute), has also denounced my exes as less than the average man. In more ways than just physical, of course. That's why they no longer date me. Or rather, I no longer date them.

I'd be interested to hear what the male's version of this test has to offer.