Ecstacy

... and I'm not talking about the drug. How can I possibly describe my elation? No words can do that. No sentences. I can only express myself with the sudden outbursts of squeals. You know, I'll just be sitting around, and I just start jump up and down or stomp my feet really fast (if you're happy and you know it stomp your feet...) and squeal in a frequency that all the dogs in the neighborhood can hear! My cat is seriously annoyed by my irratic behavior. She eyes me carefully in the corner -- I don't blame her. She must feel that she's living with a psychopath and think that she better watch her back or I might just go after her and eat her or something. It might seriously have something to do with the fact that after I got my letter yesterday, I grabbed my kitty and told her, "Nabee, I'm so happy I could eat you up!" I am weird.

I am weird, but I am happy. I couldn't sleep last night, and for once, it was for a good cause. Normally I lie awake with worries and fears -- they used to strangle me. But last night, I was smiling in my sleep, and I was so happy, in my bed, under my blankets, and suddenly, the world felt good. It felt like a good place. My life felt good. There is a sense of just in the world.

I have asked several instructors for recommendation letters, which I don't even need anymore (but I'll get'em and hold onto'em for future application needs). I was bracing myself for another round of applications -- you know what that feels like? Ugh! It's the worst. It's like you've been bracing yourself, as a psychopath shot a round of bullets at you. You relax a little as he reloads his gun, and then, you breath in and hold your breath and hug yourself tight because you have to face another round of gun fires, which isn't too unlike college applications. They're not as bad as getting your teeth pulled by the dentist, but about as bad as a random madman shooting at you (yes, I despise the dentist and I will cry when he drills my teeth and bawl like a baby afterwards!).

In less than three months, I will start being a Junior in college. Imagine! After all these years of piling on units after units and still being considered a Sophomore in college. I'm 24 years old for goodness' sakes! Oooooh! I hate that I can't be typing this at home (due to sucky DSL situation). Blogging at the school library isn't good, especially times like now. First of all, it is freezing temperature here, despite the fact that it is close to 90 degrees outside. Secondly, I can't jump up and down or squeal or scream or laugh out loud -- people are trying to sleep (I think 10% of all the people in this building are sleeping).

Because I am now debt free, and I have paid off my car loan, I have been able to save more money than before -- I could probably save up close to half a year's tuition at CSULA by January. Then the question comes -- what will I do for the next year and half (or so)? I was expecting to quit my job (be gone, clients from hell!) but when push comes to shove, I may have to reconsider that plan. If I can possibly squeeze work into my school schedule, and if my boss is still willing to keep me around to do paperwork, I may still have to work, although considerably less. But school will always come first. This is the opportunity I've been waiting for several years -- earning a few bucks cannot be a higher priority, ever! Oh, I'm rambling, aren't I? I think I have a valid excuse to ramble on and on though. This is probably the happiest I've ever been since... since... who knows when!