Hot Pastrami, Cold Pastrami

Yes, I actually have a title today. I almost forgot to blog about this incident, which happens to be extremely blog-worthy, because I was going to right after lunch, but I was extremely busy the whole day! I didn't even have time to check my e-mail or make myself a cup of coffee!

My day was going pretty smoothly, until I went out for some errands. On my way back, I wanted to grab some lunch for my boss, my co-worker, and myself. I had to go to Ralphs for water and soda, and I found that they were selling submarine sandwiches as well. I figured, why drive around looking for parking, when I can kill two birds with one stone here? After contemplating for a few minutes on the very very brief and concise menu, I decided to get a large pastrami sandwich, and a small turkey and bacon sandwich. They had two columns on their menu which was on a large board. It was friendly on the eyes with large fonts; one column was labeled "COLD SUBS" and the other column, on the right, said "HOT SUBS." Under cold subs, there was 5 or 6 kinds of sandwiches -- ham and cheese, turkey, turkey and bacon, etc. On the hot subs' side, there was just two -- steak and cheese, and pastrami.

Being the clever girl that I am, I figured out for myself that the Pastrami would be a hot sandwich, and it sounded tasty, so I decided to get that. I also ordered a turkey and bacon sandwich which didn't sound too bad either.

Ana* came to help me, and she was very friendly. Her bright pearly whites complimented her brown, healthily tanned skin, and she was courteous. I placed my order, and she began to make it. First when I told her about the turkey and bacon sandwich, she looked puzzled. She asked me, "you want turkey... and bacon in one sandwich?" As though I was making up a menu item that they did not have! I told her yes, the third one down from that menu, and she nodded and smiled, as though my inept ability to place an order had confused her.

She asked to confirm what the second sandwich was supposed to be, and I told her, "pastrami." She went to the other side of the counter to slice the pastrami (or what I hope was pastrami). She then took out the bacon which was heated in the microwave. She placed the bacon on top of the turkey and finished creating that sandwich. She then placed the pastrami onto the sandwich -- the pastrami was not heated. I asked her hesitently, if she had heated the pastrami. She did not respond.

I assumed that the pastrami would have been heated, because she obviously has worked here a while, and would know more about making a sandwich than I did. I assumed that when a sandwich is listed under "HOT SUBS" it would be hot, although inevitably it would cool down afterwards. At least at the beginning, shortly after its creation, it would be hot -- I assumed. And we all know what happens when we assume. I had forgotten.

She rang up my order which came out to something close to nine dollars. She handed over the sandwich, as I handed her the money. I felt kind of iffy, so I felt the sandwich through the bags, and they were cool -- not as though they contained hot pastramis inside. So I asked her if she heated the pastrami. She said, "no, both sandwiches are cold." I really did want to beg to differ, so I did. "The menu says pastrami under 'HOT SUBS,'" I said. She said, "they come both ways, hot and cold. You didn't specify which kind." I didn't want to pick a fight, because I had to get back to the office where I had work piled up high. I asked her in my nicest voice, "would you be able to heat them? I was not aware that I had to request that the pastrami be heated." She said that there were other customers waiting, and that I would have to wait in line again. So I did.

Ana and her co-worker, Alina* flicked me with looks that was harsher than any spoken words could have been. I waited about 10 minutes, and was helped by Alina. I was hoping that Alina, sweetly demure in her dark-framed glasses, would be more understanding. It wasn't just a matter of having hot pastrami. It was the fact that Ana snubbed me when I was clearly right. I may be a shy person, who is an introvert, but I really can't stand to have something wrong me as Ralph's cold pastrami had.

It turns out that Ana was lesser of two evils, because Alina was simply devilish. I tried to explain the situation. I originally wanted an apology, because when it says pastrami under the words "HOT SUBS" the consumer naturally wants hot pastrami, or something remotely close to hot. But definitely not cold. Since I started working in the cell phone biz, where I deal with contracts on a daily basis, I have learned to read the fine prints. All of them. I tried desparately to find any on the menu board or any other place. Perhaps somewhere they had fine prints -- "menu items listed under "HOT SUBS" may not be hot -- they will be served hot or cold at the server's discretions." But there were no fine prints. Time was ticking away, and I really had to get back to work. If it was my day off, or even if I had more time, I would have definitely asked for the supervisor (who probably would have snubbed me further) and ask if there was a regional manager I would be able to speak to about the misleading menu board and the unhelpful wretched workers who knows nothing about customer service! But alas, I had to compromise with reality. The reality was that I had to get back to work. My boss and coworker were waiting for their lunch. It was 2 PM.

I didn't want an apology. I compromised. But they had to meet me halfway. I started out my part by sounding apologetic for taking up Alina's time. I said, "I'm sorry, but would you be able to heat these? I was not aware that I am supposed to ask that a pastrami sandwich be heated." To my surprise, Alina said, "Y O U A R E." And that is all she said. But she did proceed to take the sandwich apart and remove the pastrami. She basically threw them in the microwave for a minute or so, and then slapped them back between the bread and re-wrap it.

If anyone who works at or manages (even better!) Ralphs, you need to hear this. If you are a consumer who has been to Ralphs or will go to Ralphs at some point, you need to be aware. Just because it is listed under HOT SUBS, it doesn't mean it's hot. In the land of the politically correct, where thanks to a certain lady, all coffee cup lids come with a warning "The beverage you are about to enjoy is extremely hot!" (as if that's necessary) it is never safe to assume. I have been to Subways and Togos, and other independently owned sandwich places, and never had I ordered a pastrami to be hot. They were always hot. I am sorry for assuming, but one can't assume anything else, when the word pastrami is clearly listed in the column labeled "HOT SUBS" in bold capital letters! I am not one to be nit-picky about things like that. But if a pastrami sandwich does come both hot and cold, should not the worker ask, "would you like this HOT or COLD?" Although it is unknown to me that a pastrami sandwich could be served cold, I feel that it is uncommon enough for Ana to ask me about that option.

What about hot soup? Would that mean I would actually have to see if the soup's hot? Because of course the soup could be cold. The maker of the soup could claim that their soup comes both ways, hot and cold. What happens then? What about something like onion rings? "Oh, I'm sorry ma'am. Our onion rings come both ways, stale and cold." It's not about having a cold sandwich for lunch that angered me. It is first that the server would not admit her obvious mistake. Secondly, she made me wait another 10 minutes or so on a busy Tuesday, without a word of apology. I did not want her to admit guilt or condemn herself as the evil demon that she really is. I just wanted some sort of sympathy or understanding about an obvious misunderstanding. It could have resolved as a miscommunication between two people. Even if I were told to wait, had I received some kind of acknowledgement that this was a miscommunication, I would have been less angered. I was also angered because Ana's coworker, Alina, who grudgingly heated the pastrami, had only said TWO words to me, which were NOT "thank you."

In a total unrelated (yeah right) topic -- the sandwiches SUCKED. There is no tasteful way to describe the crappy sandwiches that were sold to me. It just plain sucked. At least they didn't claim their sandwiches to be delicious on that menu board of theirs... because then I would have been hoppin' mad!

*Names have not been changed to protect the innocent, because they are obviously NOT innocent at all -- they are evil evil people and thus should be regarded as such forever more.