There is craziness today, with all the Iowan Dem Caucus thing that's going on. Of course it doesn't affect me much. I know there's going to be a truckload of y'all to jump at me when I say this, but I kind of like Mr. W. Bush. I like that he seems like a regular Southern gentlemen (be it true or not) and I kind of feel like he's a nice guy overall. Of course I was appalled when he took the nation to war (or millitary conflict, whatever) without the backing of his countrymen or the U.N. but I don't have much problems with him other than that. I know that's a pretty big thing, of course. Eh. I'm weak on debating on political candidacy front. I just don't like to condemn candidates and support one over another. I really don't read too deeply in the issues of campaigning, such as what Dean did as a governor, or what Kerry did as a senator and what they shouldn't have done, etc.. As I have said repeatedly, I am for neutrality and moderation. Whoever goes into the White House in the next year, I just hope is someone with talent and ability, humility and good leadership. I guess it's too late for the Dalai Lama to run, right?

I am tired today. Sleepy and groggy. Now that I don't have work on Mondays, Tuesday has become the new Monday. I'm just glad that Tuesdays aren't as busy as Mondays (for some reason, Mondays are the busiest) and that I am spared from it. Although not for long -- I go back to school full time mid-Feb and then I'll be at school all day on Tuesday and Thursday, and partially on Wednesday. A whopping 15 units -- I have never taken on so much courseload -- after all I still have to work 30 + hours a week. My goal is to get straight A's. Like I did during my high school years. I always thought that working wouldn't affect grades, but it is much harder to get A's now than it did in HS. I know college is different from HS, but sometimes it feels like HS, without the bells going off at every hour.

I keep telling myself, it's only 5 classes -- I took more than that in HS. I think I was more efficient back then... I had 7 classes, including a 3 hour orchestra class on Monday nights. I tutored several times a week for about 2 hrs or so at a time, and the bus ride got me home at about 4 PM. A little bit of school work, dinner, then tutoring (tutoring OTHER people, not receiving tutoring, just for clarification). I got home past 9 PM, and got back to burying myself in text books. Papers to write, texts to read, verbs to conjugate -- it was a lot of work. I also had the SAT's and several AP exams to contend with -- some people assume that I probably took about 2-3 AP exams through out my HS career -- people, I took 9 or 10. Two in Spanish, two in English, U.S. history, Calculus, Chemistry, Biology, and a couple of insignificant more exams. So I had a lot on my plate. But I was an excellent student. A model example for my peers. Where did I go wrong?

I know work does take up a lot of my time, but I think the discipline and the motivation has decreased significantly. I need to work on that. Being an adult has made me lose focus. Writing out checks to cover credit card bills, scrubbing mildew in the shower, plucking my eyebrows then drawing them back in... I have more time-consuming businesses to attend to, more than I ever did at 16 or 17. In recent years I have desparately tried to return to that simple life, but it's hard -- unless you're Paris Hilton. Then it's easy as hopping on a plane to Arkansas. Well, since I am not an heiress to a grand fortune, I guess I'll have to do it the hard way -- work and discipline.