Go Forth and Multiply!

Is it so weird and strange and out of the ordinary that some women do not desire to rear children? On Friday night, I went out with some friends -- two of whom are married to each other. Despite various hardships, they still remain married and their son is now almost two years of age. My friend -- I only know her husband through her -- is always fawning over the topic of children. It seems as though that because she has had a child, she is now the goddess and an advocate for getting pregnant and having children. Her refusal to change topic once it lands on having children, is repulsive to me. She is a good friend, and her son is the most adorable child, but she can never seem to agree that some human beings prefer to live without children.

What is most repulsive is that the idea is engraved in her mind, set in stone -- it is a must that people have children. It is not an option -- how can it be a choice when rearing children is so splendid and wonderful? While I have no doubt that she loves her son and loves being a mom, I just would like, for once, for her to acknowledge that it is not a universal desire.

It is already well known among my circle of acquaintances -- I do not like children. I do not like babies. Sure, they're adorable, but I wouldn't dream of pushing one out of any orifice on my body, let alone care for it 24-7. To quote a line from Shakespeare, "That a woman conceived me, I thank her; that she brought me up, I likewise give her most humble thanks." (Much Ado About Nothing) However, I just don't like the idea of doing all that. First of all, because of my circumstance, I've gotten a rather late start in settling into the life I want. There's no weasling out of that. It is near impossible to go to med school while being pregnant/raising a child. Or graduate school. Even if it were possible, I would never put myself through such torture.

I call that sacrifice; the gal formerly known as my best friend used to ask me how it can be called sacrifice! It isn't sacrifice if you do it because you want to, out of the goodness of your heart and soul and because you love to. I suppose not. However, since I am most unwilling, it would be the ultimate sacrifice. This is not to discredit all the moms out there. Motherhood is perfectly fine. It is wonderful. It is a brilliant thing. Mothers are hardworking people and their endless, most unconditional love is astounding to say the least. Don't suspect that I wasn't born from a woman -- I have a mother as well, and she is living proof that motherhood is a great thing. But it isn't for me.

So I've made myself clear. Perhaps in my later years I will change my mind. I really do have the desire to perhaps adopt a child or two -- when I am ready. But only upon my own free-will, would I make this choice. So let me make it clear just once more: no offense to moms out there, but I don't think motherhood is something for me in the near future, at least not in the next decade or so.

What's the big deal, you may ask. Well, it's just that, anyone who's heard this claim from me feel as though they have the right to tell me a few things, however presumptuous they are. One, "you'll change your mind once you're married. What would you do... chances are slim that your husband wouldn't want children." Two, "it's always girls like you: they say they don't like children, but once they have their own, they're just the most loving moms ever, and find their kids precious above all else." Three, "oh, but to rear children is just the best joys in life and in a marriage." And the fourth, last but not least, and the absolute worst, "you don't know what you're saying -- you're still single! How would you know? But you'll realize, no matter the success you have career-wise, it can't compensate for not having children; your job doesn't hold you at night and tell you it loves you." Ugh!

There are no shortages in the human race. If some catastrophic event would happen and the population is at risk, I will most dutifully do my part in propegating the species. Until then, let me be in my own choices, no matter how flawed you seemed to think they are!

I better not have any comments convincing me otherwise; I'll be making my own decisions, thank you very much.