I heard this on the radio this morning: What does it mean when a woman tells her man, " Go have fun." (This would most likely be in the case where the man is leaving to spend some time with other people, namely, other men.) They interviewed several men and women to elaborate on the essense of that phrase. The men interpreted it to literally mean, Have a good time honey, and be safe, while women interpreted it as When you come back, I won't be here and the like.

Why is it that men and women speak different languages, although the words are in English?

Personally, I can't understand that. The words that come out of my mouth are pretty much literal. I don't mask an implied meaning, because I would much rather prefer to say what I mean, and also because it is too much work! Especially the most puzzling no-win questions like "do I look fat in this?" is something, even as a woman, is hard to explain. Growing up, for some odd reason, I've always had more male companions than women, and even to this day that is still the case. Now, that has some really good points, as well as some negatives.

I am more at ease around men. I find women too catty and negative -- many women impose a negative vibe to fellow women, even friendly acquaintances. With men, you don't have to try as hard -- men are much more accepting. I have many male friends who come to me for advice about women. They describe the symptoms and I interpret the cause. I give advice about what course of actions to take, what options are available, and what each outcome is for each option. Men are in awe of my abilities. They are also in awe, because I don't act like the women who give them troubles. I'm mild-mannered, never jealous, secure, and speak the same language as most men. But alas, being like "one of the guys" doesn't make me too appealing, it seems. Even men wonder why other men don't want to date me. But that is the case.

With women, it is different. I don't often get along with the species of my gender, often because of petty reasons. I don't conform. I am secure. I don't have mind-boggling questions like "why isn't he calling?" It is true, I did once spend a period of my life going through the common experiences of women. A lot of it is insecurities. As a result of my distance with my own kind, I lack a lot of the female bonding. I am foreign to such things as hugging. I like to shake hands. I don't say sorry. Things like that -- at times they are the things that make me feel more a crude human form than the average.

So I don't understand why the two different genders of one species speak a different language. My best friend is a very social person. She's lovely -- she floats like a butterfly amont people. If she lived in a larger city, I am sure that she would definitely have been a social butterfly. She is a people person, but above all, she is a girl's girl. She has many girlfriends. The things we discuss are very interesting because we see things in a very different light. Sometimes she enlightens me, perspective-wise. At those times, I truly see that she is 50 days older than I am for a reason: she is 50 days wiser. But inevidently, sometimes I question her views and she is dumbfounded. It is very strange that a single event can be seen from the opposite angle and give a completely different effect. The different perspectives we have continue to amaze each other, and that is why I truly think she completes me. She sees what I can't see, feels what I can't feel, and says what I can't put into words.

Sorry for going off topic. But in any case, such differences in languages have an effect. Men appear simple. They are satisfied by a naked body and a six-pack of beer, and possibly a game of sports aftewards. Women are viewed as being much complex with a different hierarchy of needs. But in actuality, women are much simpler. Instead of being direct and open, women beg the questions. They hide their motives behind a curtain of words, which is then behind their arms, prudently crossed across their chest.

Wouldn't it be marvelous if instead of "do I look fat in these pants" we got "I'm not feeling good about myself. Can you compliment me and boost my self confidence without making it seem too intentional?"

The bottom line is this: If you want to be heard, say what you mean. Of course, unless it is your intentions to torment your listener. But come on. Don't make life harder than it really is.