First Day Jitters

Here I am on the first day of school. I am in kind of a daze, mostly because of sleep deprivation. I've been skimping on sleep with all the DVD-watching (movie reviews to come later), college applying, trip to DC planning, rubbing my cat's belly, and whatnot. It was difficult to get up at the wee hours of the morning, but I managed -- and while I groaned, the sudden realization that I don't have to be at work today made it all worth it. As I was walking to the campus, I told myself, "heck, this is muuuuuch better than being at work!" And how true.

I don't know if I will have much access/time with the internet once I am in DC. Obviously, I don't want to spend half the day browing blogs and blogging and checking e-mails when I'm so close to a hub of museums and such. One of the main things I really, really, want to see is the Lincoln Memorial. I would also visit the Smithsonian -- I mean, I'd have to. It's like an obligation, right? I would love to.

I know it's kinda hard to imagine, but imagine me suddenly hopping around with my arms in the air squealing. I've been that way for about a week now. It's crazy. You know, I am not scheduled to show up at work until next Wednesday. That's like a WEEK away from work! How cooooool is that?

I am nervous. And the anxiety is increasing exponentially as I approach the weekend. I am nervous to fly, definitely. I am also nervous to meet my cousin -- I've never really had a close relationship with my extended family, and I just met this cousin while I was in Chicago last last winter. And we've e-mailed frequently for about a year or so, and eventually that connection kinda faded. Ultimately, I was supposed to visit her last summer, but something didn't work out, and here I am today. I am nervous of meeting her -- I've only met her briefly while I was in Chicago, and the last time I saw her before that was when I was about 7 or 8, and she was in Jr. High. And it's so cool and so intimidating and so wonderful that I am going to see her and that she would spring for a plane ticket, because I've always asked my parents as a child, why they couldn't just have a sister instead of my brother. I always wanted a sister, especially an older one who would show me the ropes at school, at work, at the world -- someone who I'd be related to and share a close relationship with. That isn't to say that I don't have a good relationship with my brother -- except for the rare occasion when I wish to smother him to death with a pillow while he's sleeping, he's a wonderful guy and a wonderful brother and I love him. (I didn't realize that I would actually love him when I was younger -- we used to fight like dogs and cats -- dogs and cats!) But sisterhood is different. And I've never really had close girlfriends who could somehow subsitute for a sister either, so I've always craved that sort of relationship. I don't want to be naive and hope that I can forge a sisterly bond with my cousin who lives on the opposite end of the country, but I really wish I could have better communication. I know that I will meet her and spend a few days with her and find her to be absolutely fabulous. I just know it. But I'm totally intimidated by the whole concept of meeting this person who is physically related to me but also physically so remote from me; I mean, maybe she'll find me annoying, and find me to be a slob (both of which, I admit, I am). Normally I can shake off that sort of negativity, but if it comes from someone, whose opinion I actually care about, it is a frightening process to go through. I am going to be on good behavior and mind my manners, although sometimes, I feel like going on one of those "Girls Gone Wild: Spring Break!" type of a spree, only it won't be spring break. But no. I will be good. And I will promptly remove my flip-flops when the TSA lady ask me to. And I won't scowl at the overweight, middle-aged man who will sit next to me on the plane. And I won't boo when passing the White House. Ok, maybe I'll boo internally, just to myself. That isn't to say that I'm not a Bush fan or that I am a Kerry fan -- I'm just not a fan of the man who's in da house. Something about that house makes them bastards, I suppose. I dunno. But whoever comes through those doors next, better be worthy! Ok, enough ranting. Have a class at 10:15 -- please excuse me. Good bye!