Just This and That

Just This and That

Have a post up at The Sage Wasabi, and realizing that it's harder to produce stuff out of nothing. I guess that is my on-going challenge. And that is why it is called art when something is made from nothing -- it is the only thing that defies the conservation law that no matter is created nor destroyed. Art is created, and it can be destroyed as well, and although it doesn't have an universal impact, it's impacts are monumental for the artist. For a struggling artist such as myself who has yet to overcome the blank-page-phobia, it is a steep uphill to climb.

Had an absolute battle with the fax machine today. I need an assistant at work to take care of my menial things, like faxing, filing, getting coffee... oh wait. That would be My job. Damned call kept getting disconnected! Why? GO THROUGH YOU STUPID PIECES OF PAPER!! GODDAMMIT! Frustration still lingers after 6 hours from departing from work.

Had another date. Pleasant. Not quite sure if there was any chemistry. May or may not see him again. I should keep a dating journal, if my dates all end up being "first" dates. Maybe somethin's the matter with me. But if so, I don't know what it is, and I sure ain't gonna try to fix what ain't broken (yet). He was nice, very well-cultured, interesting. He bought me alcohol and sashimi. Two of my absolute favorite things! But other than that, the conversation was nice, he told me a funny/scary/sad story which I wil not repeat. Even after several dates, dating is still difficult.

There is a korean word for what I'm feeling -- it's called ¿À±â or oh-ki(pronounced somewhere between oh-gi and oh-ki). I tried to find an English translation for that word, but all I got was "unyielding spirit." I have oh-ki but it's different from just an "unyielding spirit." Oh-ki is something like... let's say you're fixing a radio. It has a minor problem that can be fixed very easily, so you decide to do it yourself. You find out that after you've replaced the necessary parts, the radio still does not work. You are puzzled. Even after a few attempts, the damn thing still doesn't work. Rather than quitting, you are more frustrated and yet also more motivated to get the damned thing to work. That desire to triumph over something that seems so easily do-able and yet is stumping you -- that is oh-ki. I have oh-ki to triumph over this dating situation. I will rise above it.

Dating doesn't seem too difficult, but it is. I can write an 1500 word essay on Hamlet in an hour, with one hand tied behind my back. I can hand-write checks and pay bills faster than that soccer-mom-wannabe does on-line, on that Bank of America commercial. I am a remarkably talented and capable individual, and yet dating has me stumped. I must prevail.

Maybe oh-ki is a Korean thing. I mean, it's not exactly "unyielding spirit." What would be the English translation of that? It can be described as the determination one would feel to accomplish something when everyone tells him/her that he/she cannot do it. Hmm. I'm hoping that my oh-ki didn't come for no reason, or else, I'd be really frustrated. Argh!