Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. So it is time for me to bitch about it. This would be my third Valentine in a row alone, but I don't mind being so single. In fact, I celebrate the fact that I can live, even flourish, without a man. I know many women who aren't so capable. However, it is for this single occassion, Valentine's, that the entire society pressures me to feel like I need to get myself a man. Even if it is just to get a dozen roses and some chocolate, and dump him straight afterwards. I refuse to be conform! There may come a day when I fall in love and want to share my time with another human being; for now I am satisfied with where I stand. I love having leisure time, without always waiting or driving to meet someone. Spending hours of separation on the phone, wondering what to get for that person's special day, or even having the feeling of nervousness and anxiousness -- I just don't need to spend time that way. I have things to do -- enjoy television, write, clean my room, pamper my cat, go out and take photos, and aftewards, if I have time left over, which I usually don't, I'm going to have to blow on that clarinet for once, refresh myself of the Japanese I had learned, rekindle my love for the violin, paint (I have purchased massive amounts of paint and paintbrushes on eBay, but never used them!), reorganize my closet, and such. Everyone I know is telling me that I am at the age to go out and bask in romance -- that I am not too young, so I won't be too foolish, and that I am not too old, so I won't have worldly things to worry about -- that this is the golden time for romance. "Enjoy your twenties while you can!" they say. But I am! I am enjoying my life, and I can say that with a certainty, because my enjoying of life doesn't depend on another human being! It is not conditional, where I need to have him to be happy. I am just so happy, being with myself, by myself, for myself. It's all about me, me, and me! And like my acquaintances say, when else am I going to be able to exude the gossamer love for myself without any hang-ups, worries, obligations...?

Having relationship is vital. I agree. Humans are social animals and need to be in the company of fellow man. Understandable. I'll have plenty of time to do that -- the people who tell me these things, that I will have too much obligations in my late 20's and 30's to enjoy romance, are the people who follow the guidelines set by society's standards. To be married before 30, have children, work on a career -- with that schedule, of course you won't be able to enjoy life! I don't want to compromise or schedule "my- time" because I have to conform to society's expectances.

I am at a great age. I am in optimal health, my mind is sharp as a razor, a full head of hair, and porcelain skin with a few scattered freckles. I am strong and able-bodied, and when I laugh, it is loud, and it rings from the bottom of my stomach. My mind is like a sponge -- whatever I see, feel, learn, hear -- I absorb instantly. The capacity is endless! Why would I waste my time looking for a man, when clearly, it isn't the right time for me? I don't want to feel that I am running out of time to date, because by 27 I'll have to be married, and by 30, I'll have 2.5 kids and a husband and a dog. When I'm 35, I don't want to be running during mad traffic to pick up the kids from soccer practice, and worry about not getting a project done for work, and what I'm going to cook for dinner, and if I remembered to get the kids their flu shots! I am not running out of time. I'm going to live to be 110. I have nearly a century of life ahead of me. Believe me, I've got plenty of time to date, sort out the losers from the keepers, and find that soul mate. So screw you, Valentine's Day. You thought you could connive me into submission of your ways, to have me feeling miserable because I am without a man. Screw you, because I am happy the way I am, and I have no shame in that. Just to show you off, I am going to a candy store and buying myself a box of chocolates, because I am whom I love. And if there aren't too many poor crazy chaps at the flower shop today, I will get myself a rose or two, too. Just to show you, that Valentine is about love, not just between a man and a woman, but love. Wholesome, genuine, generic love. I love me, and that's that.