I would just like to take this time today to vent. I live in the U.S. with a visa. I am extremely grateful for the chance to live here, no matter how much the BCIS-Bureau of Citizenship and Immigration Services insists that I am a temporary dweller of the states. I am currently a citizen of South Korea. True, I was born there, but of my 23 years on this planet, I have spent 16 of those years in the U.S. That's more than half. It's roughly 60% of my life. I consider English my first language. I am a product of your public education, dammit! I was a great student, and I will be a great contributor to this state of California(I'm not going to run for Governor or anything...), to this country! Why won't you recognize me as one of your own? The statue of liberty is a facade. Does it say

"Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me: I lift my lamp beside the golden door."

When did those words become meaningless? Where is my American Dream?

There are cynics out there, who believe that the American Dream, or the potential to achieve the American Dream no longer exists. I am not one of them. I still see plenty of potential in the land of opportunity. For a country founded by immigrants, y'all are harshly disdainful. As a first generation immigrant, I am going through the rough times lived by the forefathers -- although I am not forming the foundations of a new nation, I am forming foundations of my home. This is my home. You can't make me leave.

I am appalled by your rules and regulations -- all the fine prints have worn me out. I am tired of challenging your nit-pickiness. I will abide by your rules -- I will become a registered nurse and get licensed, find a sponsor to back my permanent residency (aka "Green Card"). When I do become assimilated into being one of your own, I vow that I will not turn my backs on those who fight for their rights to live in this country. What happened to the pursuit of happiness? Where in the constitution does it say that these "inalienable" rights only apply to those who had the luck of gaining their citizenship? Inalienable doesn't indicate something that is conditional -- it describes something given to everyone, and that which cannot be forfeited or surrendered. I plea to you. Just acknowledge me as your own. It is all I ask.

I just submitted my application to the nursing department at my school. As the application left my very hands, my heart plummeted to the bottom of my abdominal cavity, thus alarming me about my emotional status. I guess now I know that I cannot do a thing to change what is about to happen... I hate losing control like that. I mean, it will be determined by lottery, and whether I discover a new element or write a best-selling novel, it will not matter. There is no way of influencing any factor of whether they will draw my name, or not. I don't know why, but I get that butterfly in the stomach thing... like something inevitably bad will happen. Hopefully, I will get in this time...