My best friend got into an auto accident, or collision, as the California DMV likes to call'em. She's been frequently getting herself into these minor collisions -- she reminds me of me, as a newbie driver. She has only been driving for about a year. I've been doing some heavy duty accident causing since 1998, usually one major per year. My last accident, I am proud to say, was more than a year ago (knock on wood), and since then I haven't had any difficulties abiding to the law and being a safe driver, although I still would like to add that pedestrians should watch yo'self. I'm better about swerving to miss roadkill than stopping for a pedestrian. I know. Bad.

However, I have put in extra efforts to drive more carefully, drinking less, not driving long distances. All of my mishaps occurred on major freeways, when I was either going to or from places far away (more than 40 miles). So I decided at least until my insurance premiums go down and I behave as a good driver, I would not drive anywhere else besides work, school, or anywhere else over 10 mi radius. Now there's a problem.

My best friend and I have decided to hit Vegas in January, and most likely I'll be driving. I've never driven four hours going one way, and I am slightly nervous. I love driving -- which places me in much conflict and pain. I love to drive, but that's an extremely costly hobby. Even more so than photography (back in the days when I had to get the roll of film developed). I hope I can prove to myself that I can coexist peacefully with other drivers on the road. And pedestrians.

I found from crofsblog.typepad.com that if you type in the words "miserable failure" in the Google search engine and press "I feel lucky" button, it will take you to a biography of George W. Bush!! That's nearly as funny as when you type in "weapons of mass destruction" and press "I feel lucky" it takes you to an extremely funny webpage-- if you haven't checked already, you should check it now. Although I don't feel that the Iraq conflict was justifiable, I think people are too harsh on politicians. I for one don't think that I could do a better job or even an equivalent job of what the current president is doing. I'll probably be impeached. So I have to remain mum on that.

Against better judgment, I went into Barnes and Nobles last night and actually BOUGHT stuff. This holiday season especially has drained my bank account, but I was feeling stressed and tired and depressed -- I needed to do something to pick myself back up. I went in, and found A Mighty Heart by Mariane Pearl, which is kind of a biography of her husband, Daniel Pearl -- the Wall Street Journal's journalist who was killed in Karachi, Pakistan, by the terrorist group there. I read the first few pages, and was amazed by the beauty of this woman's wording. Her phrases are connected artistically! I had been debating about buying this book for months. I found it at 50% off last night -- it was 25 dollars originally -- and could not resist. I slept very happily last night! Great bargain, great book... what could I possibly want more? I also bought a copy of Sun Tzu's Art of War. It may be an interesting choice, but that book is so insightful -- and to think that it was written by a man half way around the world, many many many centuries ago. This was $8 -- a little pricey for a paperback, but I think worth every penny. I felt a bit ambiguous about the translation, but I'll find out soon enough.

So now that I have purchased two of the books I have longed for so long, I only have a few more on my list. Hilary Clinton's Living History is one; although it isn't written as beautifully as Ms Pearl's book, she is an inspirational character and I am intrigued to hear the details from her words. Second would be the Art of Happiness by His Holiness, the 14th Dalai Lama. What I would really need would be the Art of Happiness at Work but I think the general one which was written first, would be my starting point. I think for the first time ever, I will actually answer when people ask what I want for Christmas. Despite the fact that I don't believe in god or Christmas, I rather enjoy gifts. I think even if there were no Christmas, there should be a day in a year where people practice extra good will and share joy and gifts with one another. Well, back to work.

It's pretty hard to keep me away from my blog, I guess.

Today wasn't as bad as the last two, three weeks. Thankfully. Final exams are not looking too tough, and getting a straight A for the first time in half a decade seems very possible. Highly possible. Although I am taking easy classes than can be aced standing upside down, nevertheless, it's a beautiful thing looking at a line of A's. Although I have that math class I dropped -- the shame! But I'm content nontheless.

I am just beyond bord from this same old same old thing day in and day out. I think I've done more than enough to pay for my dues... My dream would be to qualify for a loan and study full time. Life sucks, when you have full time school and full time work. You can only do one thing fully, (hence the word, full-time) and just by my having two full time obligations is the surest road to a quick burnout. Thankfully (or Unfortunately, depending on the perspective), longevity and endurance are one of my most prevalent characteristics, and I have yet to have burned out, although I am close. Life is better than the days I had to do 60 hr work weeks and try to survive schooling at the same time. But as things get better and better, you get greedier. I want more. I want to work part time. Like 15 hours a week, working at the mall, or a restaurant, or whatever. Not an office job that forces your mind to take the stress home with you after work. I want to go to a university, where I can meet people that match my intellects -- not 18 year-olds who can't multiply or add. I want to be challenged and provoked to think deeply -- not merely prodded and poked at to get an apathetic response. I want to join a sorority and see what all the hype is about. I want to go to the schoo library at the middle of the night when I can't sleep, and study into the morning. I want to take classes that are worth talking about, and be passionate about my life. I want to go to a frat party and show everyone how much beer I can pour into my mouth. I want to take road trips with friends and get out of LA. I want my hopes and dreams to have stable footing in my life. I want so much, but I want to work hard for them. But not like this.... not like this....

The above paragraph was just me venting. That's what blogs are for, innit?

There's a crackdown at work....
Actually, not as dramatically as it sounds. I was just notified very nicely (because my boss is a very nice man) that at the very least, more time should be spent working, than writing e-mails and blogging. So in short, I will be blogging a lot less. Also, with the arrival with my best friend from Iowa, for the holidays, I will probably be even more busy. But I'll update whenever I can, whenever I have a brilliant thought that I must address onto my blog. So excuse the sporadic updates.