Last couple of days I have spent surfing Korean blogs at Naver.com, which is a lot like a Korean yahoo.com, only it's not. There is a lot of these websites, that provide e-mail addresses as well as a search engine -- their home pages provide news contents and categorized searches, like government, hobbies, games, entertainment news, etc.. There's Daum.net, Naver.com, Hanmir.com, Empas.com, and many many more. Many of these sites have caught on to the blogging phenomena, but many already previously offered home pages, similar to that of Geocities.com, but better (more organization) and since about 70+% of Koreans are computer/internet literates, most have a good working knowledge of html, and thus have better looking websites.

Back to my original point, I was browsing through blogs at Naver, because I thought I might want to get one there (I know -- yet another blog). I looked through several sites to see which had the best offer (for FREE, of course), and it appears that Naver offers free blogs with a storage space of 10 MB (I could be wrong -- that was just off the top of my head) which includes media such as short movies and music, as well as pictures and other graphics. That is probably the best offer to my knowledge -- I have found other sites that give a storage space for pictures only also. Either way they are all superior compared to U.S. sponsored sites like Xanga or blogger.com in their attractive offers. However, to me, Blogger.com remains far more attractive, simply because I have more power with layout than other sites. Much like places like Xanga, Typepad, korean blog sites also have set templates that could be altered, but the range is very limited.

Besides all that though, I do want to get a Korean page, where I will blog in Korean. Although there evidently is a plethora of over-seas Korean bloggers, I can always join the mix and add my valuable, albeit two cents. I think there would be a lot of Koreans who are interested in life in SoCal -- many of them fantasize as a paradise like haven, where the rich and the beautiful mingle, and where the weather is blessed with sunshine all year round. While the much part of the latter is true, Los Angeles is a hodge-podge of a city, filled with all sorts of people imaginable. I really can't sum up LA county in a sentence or two. It is one of the biggest metropolitan area in the world, but people need to differentiate it from Beverly Hills 91210, because LA County not only has Beverly Hills and Malibu -- it also has South Central and Compton. It contains the opposite extremes and everything in between.

I made friends in Oregon when I was younger, and they asked me what my zip code was. I was kind of baffled, since that isn't normally a question you'd ask people. But since at the time, Beverly Hills, 91210 was extremely popular, they wanted to know approximately how far (by zip code, evidently) I lived away from this dramatic yet blissful paradise. At the time I lived in 91204, surprisingly close to 91210 by just 6 zip codes, but it was eons away from B.H..

When I found out that I would shortly be moving to the U.S. (I was 9 years old), I imagined my new home to be filled with blonde-haired, blue-eyed people, much like Barbie and Ken. Even though I had less than a decade of life under my belt, I was surprisingly optimistic, and I felt an immense courage to live on another continent across the Pacific ocean. In fact, it was as though I welcomed the challenge -- it felt refreshing to start anew at a distant strange land. Not too strange, because I had lived in the U.S. previously, in the earlier portion of my childhood years. When I arrived, I was dumbfounded, because the only "caucasian" people I saw were the teachers at the schools. In my first ESL class, I was hearded into a room, full of faces that reflected mine -- a brownish, yellowish mixture, brown eyes, and dark black hair. It is surprising that outside of the caucasian race, very few other ethnicities have different colored eyes or hair. Most of Asia, including the East, the South East, and the South West, as well as the Middle East, have people with black hair and brown/black/dark eyes. So anyways. It is safe to say that I saw very few Barbie/Ken clones, even in Orange County (that's the "OC" for you OC series fans)!

So the botton line is, while I doubt many Koreans living in the mother country would be naive as a nine-year-old to have such vague assumptions about living in or just generally life in LA, I want to give detailed info on what daily life is like in LA. Since most people who would come to California from Korea would inevitably stay/reside in LA/Koreatown, I think a first hand perspective would be refreshing -- quite different from what guides or books would tell. From what I have heard, there's a lot of guides/books about foreign countries by people who have never even been. From a website that I frequent, I have learned that a New Yorker was introduced to a English-teaching job in Korea by a person who has never even been to Korea. From what I understand, it seems as though that the person who did the introducing made it seem plausible that they understood what life would be like for this New Yorker when he moves to Korea. Basically, my point is, one needs to hear it from an actual local to get the feeling. To hear it from a local who was once one of them would be best. I can tell them that kimchi is abundant in this far and mystical land, and in Koreatown, the official language spoken is Korean, not English. The white man would not fare well here, unless he speaks Korean, or has a good Korean friend.

Happy New Year everybody. It is the "Chinese New Year" which is based on the lunar calendar. I know we call it the "Chinese" New Year, because (being a major power country in Asia at the time) they were the ones who introduced it to the Western Civilizations. But please remember that many Eastern, Oriental, Asian (whatever you prefer to be PC) countries also utilized the Lunar Calendar and therefore celebrate New Years accordingly. Which would be today. Koreans also celebrate New Years, and it's a big thing, because the first three days are usually holidays. Many people are back at work and schools by the 4th day, but this year it fused with a weekend and it will be longer.

On New Years, Koreans eat dduk-gook (for breakfast), which is basically a soup with thin sliced rice patties in it. It's hard to describe, but it's very tasty and flavorful. It's not spicy or colorful (it's white), but it tastes the best on a cold winter morning. I already had dduk-gook on the 1st of January -- I think my mom is skipping it for the lunar New Year, because I saw her make kimchi jjigae (basically kimchi soup, but believe me, they taste like something that came from the stars above).

I think having such a big fuss over the Lunar New Year is great. Usually when I make resolutions on January 1st, they last about a week or two. But when Lunar New Year comes, I have another chance to redeem my failed attempts. Which I will try to do.

I spent the whole workday yesterday and the day before cleaning the office, that my arms are sore beyond belief. I also woke up with a severe leg cramp. Now I have a headache. What a way to start out the New Years... but I guess it's better than January 1, because I was on my supposed-deathbed, severely ill with the flu. Oh well, less than three hours left until I get to fly home~

Click Here for something really unbelievable. Don't click it you are bothered by violent images -- it is supposed to be something from Iraq. I don't know if this has any validity to it, and there's no way for me to confirm it... but I'm sure wars are like this.

I just realized the reason why I posted on the 20th, Tuesday. It was because the night before, my upstairs neighbor was playing "Besame Mucho" quite loudly at 3 AM, waking me up from sweet slumber. Besame ~~ besame moooocho~~~ I'll have to besa her mucho with my stinky feet.

I really really wanted to exercise yesterday. I had that moment, like they do in cartoons. A tiny version of myself wearing an angel gown complete with halo and wings sat on one shoulder, and another version wearing a red-hot jumpsuit complete with pointed tail and horns sat on the other. They debated it out, and instead of exercise, I did nothing.

So to make up for it, I decided to fill my workday with energy. Instead of planting my butt firmly infront of the computer for 7 hours, only getting up to go to the bathroom, I decided to get some early spring cleaning done. I pretty much covered the entire work area with windex. It was a lot of arm work, and I inhaled quite a bit of dust (probably one step closer to cancer now) but I feel invigorated. Also I was starting to get a headache and tummyache together, so keeping myself busy and active made me forget. I have to thank Pamprin for their support during a difficult time.

I'm not going to be able to do my music discussion, sparked from last night's blog entry, because instead I will have to blog about some crappy Korean customers that frequent the store. But all in good time...

"I'll be Back."
-as stated by Arnold Schwarzeneggar

Currently listening to: Best of Miles Davis and John Coltrane

I knew I loved Jazz when I heard this. It was inspirational. The music forces your feet to tap along. Your shoulders kind of wiggle to the tune. Your head starts to swivel lightly to the beats. The music enflames a force that lives within -- it awakened my Jazz-loving soul inside. I have a very eclectic collection of music. Perhaps being trained in classical music from an early age has taught me to enjoy music of all kinds -- I strongly believe that classical music is the foundation and embraces all types of modern music.

My upstairs neighbor has fabulous taste in music. I applaud her choices -- blues, hip-hop, pop, jazz, classical, some trance -- her style is as eclectic as mine. I am glad that other people are enjoying music besides me. I really am glad. However, I cannot be totally, without a doubt happy, because of one little thing: her favorite musical hours are long after the witching hour. I often awake about 2-3 AM to hear Andrea Bocelli bellowing "Time to Say Goodbye." Sometimes when I lie awake, sometimes waiting for my mom, I hear the music. It would be past 2 AM, and the music would be so lively. I also hear her walking around the apartment in heels.

This musically hip lady used to be the manager for our apartment complex. When we moved in, she told us that this unit was great, because we didn't have next door neighbors. Our unit was at the very end, and next to it was the elevator, so we didn't have any neighbors adjacent to us. We had neighbors upstairs and downstairs, but that wouldn't be a problem at all, she told us. Soon after we moved in, her footsteps in what could only be stilettos were simply horrible, too horrible to bear. But how many times can you tell someone this? She is no longer the manager of the building, but she still lives above us. Even worse than playing music (loudly) in the middle of the night, is that she loves to play music also on Sunday mornings. Usually at about 9AM, when I am soaking in the sunrays of the morning as I delight myself in extra hours of sleep.

I love music. I have Frank Sinatra, Miles Davis, CD's of the American Idols, Britney Spears, Chopin, Tchaikovsky, Elvis Presley, and many more. But even the great Justin Timberlake cannot be allowed to bother me from my precious slumber -- some things in life are just too important. Maybe if I started screeching really loudly like a cat in heat every time she played music -- perhaps that might work. Doesn't this woman sleep? Maybe I should collect random roadkill and place them primly at her door with a nice letter of discouragement to play music loudly. I don't know. It's really hard for me to say negative things to people to their face. Maybe I'm a coward. But I gotta get sleep somehow.

Well, that was enough verbal spilling. Goodnight Mr. Davis. Goodnight Mr. Coltrane.

There is craziness today, with all the Iowan Dem Caucus thing that's going on. Of course it doesn't affect me much. I know there's going to be a truckload of y'all to jump at me when I say this, but I kind of like Mr. W. Bush. I like that he seems like a regular Southern gentlemen (be it true or not) and I kind of feel like he's a nice guy overall. Of course I was appalled when he took the nation to war (or millitary conflict, whatever) without the backing of his countrymen or the U.N. but I don't have much problems with him other than that. I know that's a pretty big thing, of course. Eh. I'm weak on debating on political candidacy front. I just don't like to condemn candidates and support one over another. I really don't read too deeply in the issues of campaigning, such as what Dean did as a governor, or what Kerry did as a senator and what they shouldn't have done, etc.. As I have said repeatedly, I am for neutrality and moderation. Whoever goes into the White House in the next year, I just hope is someone with talent and ability, humility and good leadership. I guess it's too late for the Dalai Lama to run, right?

I am tired today. Sleepy and groggy. Now that I don't have work on Mondays, Tuesday has become the new Monday. I'm just glad that Tuesdays aren't as busy as Mondays (for some reason, Mondays are the busiest) and that I am spared from it. Although not for long -- I go back to school full time mid-Feb and then I'll be at school all day on Tuesday and Thursday, and partially on Wednesday. A whopping 15 units -- I have never taken on so much courseload -- after all I still have to work 30 + hours a week. My goal is to get straight A's. Like I did during my high school years. I always thought that working wouldn't affect grades, but it is much harder to get A's now than it did in HS. I know college is different from HS, but sometimes it feels like HS, without the bells going off at every hour.

I keep telling myself, it's only 5 classes -- I took more than that in HS. I think I was more efficient back then... I had 7 classes, including a 3 hour orchestra class on Monday nights. I tutored several times a week for about 2 hrs or so at a time, and the bus ride got me home at about 4 PM. A little bit of school work, dinner, then tutoring (tutoring OTHER people, not receiving tutoring, just for clarification). I got home past 9 PM, and got back to burying myself in text books. Papers to write, texts to read, verbs to conjugate -- it was a lot of work. I also had the SAT's and several AP exams to contend with -- some people assume that I probably took about 2-3 AP exams through out my HS career -- people, I took 9 or 10. Two in Spanish, two in English, U.S. history, Calculus, Chemistry, Biology, and a couple of insignificant more exams. So I had a lot on my plate. But I was an excellent student. A model example for my peers. Where did I go wrong?

I know work does take up a lot of my time, but I think the discipline and the motivation has decreased significantly. I need to work on that. Being an adult has made me lose focus. Writing out checks to cover credit card bills, scrubbing mildew in the shower, plucking my eyebrows then drawing them back in... I have more time-consuming businesses to attend to, more than I ever did at 16 or 17. In recent years I have desparately tried to return to that simple life, but it's hard -- unless you're Paris Hilton. Then it's easy as hopping on a plane to Arkansas. Well, since I am not an heiress to a grand fortune, I guess I'll have to do it the hard way -- work and discipline.

How do you mend a broken heart?

Yes, I have a title today too. As we live life, we are bound to face love, be it love at first sight, love with your friend's boyfriend, loving your first dog... and more often than not, love comes to a crashing halt and leaves a heart or two broken. Thankfully, so far I have never had to get my heart broken. Chipped a bit on the side, maybe, but never broken or shattered. I healed quite nicely too. But what do you do to mend a heart that has been broken, and could a heart be broken beyond repair?

I have seen friends and acquaintances suffer through love and then suffer through break-ups. Lord Alfred Tennyson said, "Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." (I paraphrase, so don't jump all over a different wording!) But I've seen some severe cases where perhaps it is not better to have loved. The risk to lose is too great. But I guess it would be too hard to prevent someone from falling in love, because as Kelly Clarkson says, "The trouble with love is / it doesn't care how fast you fall / and you can't refuse the call / and you got no say at all." So provided that the above statement is true for most cases (if you go to the Himalayas and live among Tibetan monks, perhaps it is quite possible), how can you mend a broken heart?

I have never really thought much about this, because frankly, I don't quite believe in love. I believe in a mother loving her child, or my loving my cat. I believe that people can love each other in all genuine honesty. When people talk about falling in love with someone, that's a different kind of love. You don't fall in love with your daughter (ewww, gross!) or break up with your cat. When you love that way, it is truly unconditional. You love your child the minute the babe is born, and that love lasts forever. But falling love with a man, or a woman (whatever your preference) is different. You can break up. You can get jealous. You can be unfaithful. It has so many rules and regulations and conditions; it is not the unconditional, free-for-all love that families have, or the love that one can have for his/her country, or for a boy band.

I believe the second kind of love (that is, the amorous love placed on a pedestal by song writers, poets, writers, and romanticists) is a feeling provoked by many things. One, being biological. I think humans are biologically social animals. Therefore we are programmed to seek mates, and in many cases, reproduce. Even gay couples have desires to have children. It's biological. Another one is that since we are social animals, we seek companions. We seek to bond with other creatures like ourselves, other than the members of our immediate families. That is why we have religions and clubs -- we crave acceptance and support in numbers. That is why we seek mates. I also believe that since the age of technology began, we have more leisure, and therefore more liable to be lonely. We are lonelier than ever, and that is why we become over-weight or depressed, or go on uncontrollable shopping sprees or eat a bucket of ice cream in one sitting.

I think Disney animations have screwed up most kids. You just don't go to some ball and magically fall in love with a rich, handsome prince who loves you back, and live happily ever after. Ariel doesn't defeat Ursula and become human. She's supposed to DIE and sacrifice herself, rather than kill the prince, which would have saved her life. (Read the original work, people!)

We live with the notion that getting married, having children, and getting the white picket fences with a dog and a mini-van/SUV is the norm. We believe that because we live with our significant other without the binding contract of marriage, because we live in an apartment and drive a coupe, we are dysfunctional. I think when people break up from a relationship, first we feel a sense of fear because they are not walking down that pretty outdoorsy wedding, house, kids, dogs, SUV road, and diverting from that route scares us. I think that upsetting any sort of status quo is frightening, and getting used to the opposite is assumed to be difficult -- much more difficult than it really is. I think there is a sense of insecurity and fear, that the relationship was one of a kind. The magic can never happen again. I mean, Cinderella didn't go to another ball and another ball and order boxes of Manolos to find the damned prince. So much is invested in the past relationship -- time, money, emotions, attachment, and status quo -- the investments are going down the drain, and that's frightening.

I do agree that breaking up is hard to do. But I don't think that there is just one soul mate. I don't think that finding a companion has to be finding "the one" who will join you for the rest of your life. I know that this might not be the view of the general public, but I know that more and more are joining the "Sex and the City" fans, who are deciding to hold off on the thought of marriage. Not to denounce marriage forever, but to think twice about it. Think outside the box. It's just too much pressure these days with car payments, getting careers started, finishing getting an education, and getting all our shit together, to worry about whether you are currently dating "the one." If this "One" would make a good father, or would he take out the garbage when asked? I am a strong advocate for "Mr. Right Now" rather than "Mr. Right." I don't think that life revolves around this idea of romantic love.

Although I don't believe in god or have a religion of any kind, I do like to believe that we are all here with a purpose. I know why I was born. Do you? If you think your life is meaningless because you haven't found "the one" or you lost a love, you need to rethink your priorities. There is just more to life. Much more. If you have found love and if you are truly happy, then I applaud you. That's truly wonderful. But take it from me -- I've spent the last two years without dating, and plan to do so for at least another year or two -- there is more to life than romance. In fact, romance is an extremely small part of your life. During those two lonely, hard, cold, long, two years, I have altered my perspective. All this camera, I had my camera zoomed in to one portion. I saw that one portion clearly, but I wasn't seeing the whole picture. Perhaps I am not seeing the entire picture today still. But at least I am seeing a bigger picture. I think with more epiphanies, I may see the whole picture.

Important thing is this: your mind is much more capable than you give credit. Things are only worth as much as you give meaning to it in your mind. That is why sentimental value is different from actual market value, and mental time can be slower (as in a boring lecture) or faster (a fun fun fun day at an amusement park) than the actual time. A break-up is only as hard as you make it. It takes much discipline, and I don't claim to be a wise old saint and call you grasshopper. But with patience, and a right state of mind, everything will start flowing smoother, and you can be at peace. So how do you mend a broken heart? With a sound state of mind. I am reminded of a song... (oh no, not song lyric time again...) Barbara Streisand's "New York State of Mind." It's about seeing all the glitz of life, but being indifferent to it all. I won't post the lyrics here, because you need to hear the song to get that "state of mind." But whatever state you live in, it's definitely a state of mind worth having.

I have been lazy on working on my blog. It is a joy to work on it, don't get me wrong -- but these days, it is just too damn hard to open up blogger and start typing after a long day at work, after the long trafficky commute, and after planting my ass infront of the television with dinner. Work has been busier than usual, which not only means less time to blog, but also less time to read other stuff (e.g. news, other blogs, editorials, cartoons, etc.) to receive inspiration for a blog entry. It is increasingly harder and harder to create stuff out of nothing. At first the ideas keep coming, and then at some point, you run out of the things you were given. You run out of gas. Until you gain something to start the engine again, the chances are pretty close to zilch that you can do it.

I am having a "just-for-Haemi" day today. Or at least I'm trying to. I started out by waking up near noon (Yes, on a Monday!). I had junk for breakfast, and then lunch a bit later, with a video on the side. I got into the bath tub, soaking in a hot bubbly bath. Ommmm~~~ Just as I was starting to breathe calmly and become one with the silence that surrounded me, my cell phone started to ring. I ignored it, because I never get emergency calls anyways. Then immediately afterwards, I heard someone buzzing (someone was at the apartment building's gate) and the house phone started to ring. I had to jump out of the tub, nearly slipped, hastily wrapped soapy self with a towel, and I got the phone. Then I had to get the door. It was the UPS delivery guy with my new Lexmark printer that my brother purchased (with my credit card of course). My hair was dripping water, I had bubbles on my shoulder, and the towel was soaking wet. The UPS guy seemed awefully bashful -- it seemed something close to a pornographic film. (Sigh) If only I were a big-bosomed busty tall blonde. I would have asked him in. NOT. I went back into the bathtub, but it just didn't feel right afterwards. I am trying to continue my "just-for-Haemi" day by doing a hair conditioning treatment. I have gunk in my hair, and it's wrapped in a shower cap. Not the most beautiful vision of me, I know.

After this, I am going to either watch a movie, or start watching television. Or perhaps read. I don't know. But it's my day today, and I will do whatever delights me at the time.

In an unrelated news, I will be subscribing to the LA Times. I will be discontinuing services from TIME magazine though. I don't know which is better. I guess with TIME magazine, I won't have black ink all over my hands after reading it, but the Sunday edition of the LA Times have so much coupons! If I really had a choice, I would get the NY Times, but it runs slightly more expensive here on the west coast. Well, I am going to remove the gunk from my hair. Have a good day everyone. I know I will.