The Eightfold Path

I tell you, being a religious individual is hard work, even more so for a non-Christian! I find that the Ten Commandments aren't too difficult -- of course, some are easier than others, like Thou shalt not kill. I'm not a murderer by nature anyways. But The Eightfold Path isn't just about a moral code that you should uphold; it is about being in a good state of consciousness. It doesn't mean not hurting others or violating rules; it talks about how you can be good in a spiritual way. Here's what The Eightfold Path consists of:

What is the Noble Eightfold Path? This is the path to Nibbana as outlined by the Buddha. It offers a framework for the development of wisdom, morality and concentration, all of which are essential for spiritual progress: 1. Right Understanding This entails an understanding of the Four Noble Truths and the other teachings of the Buddha. 2. Right Thought To have right thought is to be free of sense desire, ill-will or cruelty and to possess thoughts of detachment, loving-kindness and compassion. 3. Right Speech Right Speech comprises abstaining from lying, gossiping, and using harsh language. 4. Right Action Right Action is abstaining from killing, stealing and from unlawful sexual intercourse. 5. Right Livelihood Occupations that necessitate the breaking the five precepts are prohibited. For example, occupations that involve killing (whether animals or humans), sexual misconduct, deceit, taking intoxicating drinks or drugs. For example, trading in arms or prostitution. 6. Right Effort There are four aspects to this: the effort to avoid the arising of evil, the effort to overcome evil, the effort to develop wholesome states and the effort to maintain wholesome states. 7. Right Mindfulness This encompasses The Four Foundations of Mindfulness. This involves being mindful of 1. the body and bodily processes 2. feelings 3. states of mind 4. thoughts, ideas, Buddhist teachings such as the Four Noble Truths 8. Right Concentration The final factor focuses on developing meditative concentration leading to the eradication of the five hindrances and the experience of the four jhanas. Right Understanding and Right Thought aim to cultivate wisdom, Right Speech, Right Action and Right Livelihood relate to morality, and Right Effort, Right Mindfulness, Right Concentration are conducive to Concentration.

I'm trying out Buddhism (It feels so wrong to try a religion out, like a 15-day worry free guarantee from a cellular phone carrier -- I mean, who do I contact for buyer's remorse?) and trying to see what it is like to follow this Eightfold Path. I have no problem not killing others, not having adulterous affairs, or stealing, but something like "Right Speech" is very difficult. It is so hard to refrain from not gossiping, or from having ill-wish against another human being. Just now, an older gentleman entered the store and was being extremely vague about the serve he needed (again with that "what's the best phone?" thing. There's no universally best phone or best plan!). I wanted to smack him silly! Thankfully, I have will-power that prevents me.

Amy and Nick get Fired, Omarosa returns

The Apprentice is one of my favorite shows, and it is definitely my favorite reality show. I admire those people on the show, even the ones who were fired early on, because they've all got something I don't have. Sure I have qualities that they don't have, but notice that the things you want most are the things you can't have or don't have. I know that I probably couldn't last a week on that show, because I'm so meek. I can express energy and passion in writing, but realistically, I can be pretty weak -- I'll let people tread on me all over the place.

And when I am put on the hot seat, I usually start crying. It's almost second nature. Imagine if people were discussing about firing me and all I can do is weep! Not only would that get me definitely fired, it would be the biggest embarrassment for me since I sobbed at the acupuncturist -- not when I was 7, but when I was 18. And I don't mean microscopic amounts of tears squeezing out from the corners of my eyes that could be disguised as beads of sweat -- I'm talking full-blown, temper-tantrum, it's the end of my life as I know it type crying. I don't know why I resort to that. It's something I need to control, because underneath it, I am a confident and strong person. Most people would face the music fine and then be depressed about it and be under the weather, but I'll let the waterworks start running and feel like that song: "I will survive." But definitely I'd need to learn how to handle myself better, and also to do a better PR of myself. I'm just so shy and meek and tame, and I never go beyond the expectations that people have of me, which often is that I am a soft-spoken, well-mannered gal who tries hard to please everyone but herself. Which is true.

Don't get me wrong -- I don't want to be that bitch that everyone in the office loathes, but I also want to be that starlet who impresses people and climbs that ladder of promotions. Not that I'd be joining the corporate world anytime soon. But anyways, that is the reason why I speak up in my classes. Some of the instructors have already acknowledged me as a superior student, a superb student, intelligent, dilligent, and exceptional. (Sometimes I let humility escape me now and then.)

So until I reach that state of enlightment where I can truly speak up and be heard, I will just enjoy this show.

Workin' till the Day I Die

I'm 23. Say I retire at 65. That means I have 42 working years ahead of me. I better have a job I darn well like.

Take a bite out of Al-Qaeda!

I love Ms. Rice. But why is it that in all the photos taken by the AP, she looks like a dog that's ready to chomp down on an enemy? Talk about fierce!

A New Gadget Hunt

I am on a new gadget hunt: the MP3 player. Ideally I would want a mini iPod, in pink, as shown on your left. However, seeing as that this fabulous little thing costs two and half Benjamins, it would be safe to say that purchasing one would be difficult at best. So I've been doing some research for lower priced MP3 players, on Amazon and eBay and such.

As y'all know, I am pretty much anal, and must do very detailed research before purchasing an item, an electrical item, of all things. Since I know so little about electrical gadgets, I must be very careful not to be ripped off (excuse the crude language), and hence the much needed research. It took me more than half a year to get my digital camera, and just as long for my sony CD player -- and with each purchase, I am happy to say, I got excellent deals and have been very happy with them. I say that consumer satisfaction is dependent on the consumer. Face it: if you're dumb enough to purchase something that is going to easily break down or be difficult to use, that's your own fault. Unless in some way the manufacturer manipulated you into believing falsehoods, but even then you should do a thorough research to cover your ass. I know I will.

Good Grief

I must be in the Twilight Zone™. After losing my Social Securities card last week, I lost my copy of The Awakening today. We are reading that for a critical literary analysis class, and I lost the damn thing just as the major paper of the semester is due on that book! It seems like a waste to purchase the damned thing again just to write the paper -- the copy held on reserve in the library won't get me too far -- I can only use it for two hours at a time while I'm at the library, which isn't open 24-7 like large university libraries are. If I don't find it by Thursday, I will have to buy a copy. And I need a specific edition of it, which means I am at the school bookstore's mercy as far as prices go.

I am feeling cruddy today. (Don't tell me cruddy isn't an actual word -- I may be making up words but due to the stressful circumstances of my life, I should be allowed to do so -- Lewis Carroll did, so can I.) I felt chilly and had an odd vibe, like I was going to be sick. In fact, after lunch, I couldn't stand to stay awake, and fell asleep for an hour. I thought that a "power" nap would do me some good, but little good it did -- I was groggier than I was this morning. Plus then I lost my book. I've got an art history exam on Thursday and an English lit quiz tomorrow, so I can't afford to fall ill. Spring break is so close, and yet feels like an eon away...

Is it too late to change my major?

I've changed my major so many times already -- I've been a journalism major, child development major, chemistry major, Spanish major, and finally, a nursing and English major. I love too many things. But just recently, I found that I love art. Sure, my paintings never amounted to anything more than chicken scratch, but I love seeing art. This semester's art history class made me want to study art history. Some pieces I can really get used to staring at for extended periods of time -- this coming from a woman with self-proclaimed ADD!

It would take much too long to switch majors yet once again -- and I do still like being an English major (I'm just waiting for that nursing part to kick in, as I've said, since I've finished all prereq's) and have taken a good chunk of steps toward completing the basics, like English literature and critical literary analysis. Perhaps I'll save art history for a minor. I'm dying to take the second class, which covers from the renaissance to modern art. My favorite so far, would be Greek art, high classical, to be specific. And not just because the statues are nude!

This is So Funny!

Media Skepticism and the Pulitzer

Click here for the source

I was most affected by the article's statement that "The 88th annual Pulitzer awards were announced at New York's Columbia University at a time of deep skepticism about the quality of American journalism." I truly believe that there is deep skepticism in Journalism not just in the U.S. but all around the globe. At times, professions such as journalists get ignored, but in truth, they are the frontline. They have to tell it like it is, and that's damn hard. And we have to appreciate that. I haven't been too happy with the LA Times and was surprised that it won multiple awards. But then I got to thinking that perhaps it isn't so much the writing of the LA Times, but the actual news that was bothering me. California news haven't been too upbeat, as y'all know. I mean, we got the Terminator™ for governor. I think he's alright though.

But even worse than the decline of the quality of Journalism, is the increasing restrictions, with which people are being oppressed. Like in China. Some blogs were blocked by the country. There are still many parts of the world where freedom of speech and good press are scarce -- in some instances, you must be willing to pay for those things with your life. Let's all be thankful that we have so much freedom at hand. Put aside the criticism and Condoleeza Rice and the papers of the Clinton administration and the 2004 election and the possible future electical blackout and the Tibetan monks and the South Korean president's impeachment -- and just for one moment today, appreciate the rights you have. So many souls have died to bring those freedoms to you. Be thankful.

You may say I'm a dreamer...

I wanted to talk about that dream I had last week.

Have you ever had a dream so heavenly? I dreamed that I got into a nursing program. As you all may well know, I've been waiting to get into a nursing program (ADN) for years now. Ideally, I should complete the prereq's, get in and pop out as a RN within 3 years. For me, it's been 3 years so far and I have yet to have started the two year nursing curriculum. So when I had that dream, I was just blown away.

Never had I had a dream so delicious and softly sweet. It was ethereal, but more ethereal, like I could touch it. The dream was actually about receiving an acceptance letter -- I touched the letter. The envelope felt like the most crisp linen -- the letter inside felt like crushed velvet, so soft. It was gossamer -- if I pressed my fingers on it just a tad bit too hard, it seemed that it would self-destruct and disintegrate. I was smiling like I never smiled before, and my joyous laughter echoed through the air, like the fading bit of memory that it has become. When I woke up, the return to reality was so harsh that tears welled up in my eyes from the shock.

Do dreams come true? I grew cynical of Disney animated films by the time I was just 10 years old -- I stopped believing in the fantasy of a happy ending. I never had that "happily ever after" bit as an option. But just for once, just this once, I would like to see my dream come true. Too much to ask? We'll have to see.

Haemi-Sphere Hits a New Milestone

The blog of yours truly has gotten 1000 hits (since the installation of sitemeter, which is was done after my blog's first anniversary). The number of actual hits should be quite a bit larger, of course. But just seeing that "1000 visitors since February 3, 2004" makes me tear up with pride. Thanks to those who come by and read the blog -- I appreciate it greatly.

Yet Another Weight-Loss Blog?

I had been thinking about recording my weight loss process on a blog. I thought that it would be a good way to keep track of my progress, as well as be motivational. I started to work out again two weeks ago, but after just one week, I stopped because of my turmoil last week. Now, again, this week, I will start doing cardio regularly and keep away from the potato chips (in just last week, I believe I ate $10 worth of Ruffles Potato Chips -- buying in bulk is just so cheap). I haven't had fruits or veggies for weeks. When your body starts to tell you that you need more vitamin C and fiber, it's already too late -- not that you'd die and it's too late to reverse it, but it is too late from blocking the physical discomfort that comes with lack of such nutrients. Like constipation. True, I am painting an ugly picture for my readers, but hey. It's a part of life. It's real. More real than any reality show you'll ever see.

My desire to go down in size (hence, size does matter) is because I need clothes. I haven't done much clothes shopping over the years. Also, I can no longer wear the clothes I've been wearing, because each season I seem to expand an inch or two, making those clothes uncomfortable. Years of not watching my figure, so to speak, has been the culprit. Please. My case is completely different -- I am not that anorexic/bullimic chick who is despondent because she thinks society thinks she's fat although she wears a size 2 and weighs 110 lbs. I'm just that chick who gained 30 lbs in the last 6 years and wants to stop the fattening process. It's just unhealthy, and I need to be healthy.

I'm petite. I always felt that I was rather largesse, until my best friend who is an expert (works at a fashionable women's clothing store) told me that I am a petite. I have very small bones. Narrow shoulders and tiny ankles with small hands and feet. Although I am 5'6" since my bones are narrower I should be considered petite. However, when you are petite and yet have too much excess pounds to carry, it takes a tremendous toll on your body. My body is simply not geared to hold that extra 30 lbs. Indeed, there are days when my body is just too heavy for me to lug around, and I've been getting straining pain (nothing to report to a doc but nevertheless uncomfortable) in my joints, especially knees and ankles.

So, I have no intentions of becoming a twiggy 105 pounder, but I've got too much curvature for my own good. I was trying to do some clothes shopping, but found that my pants size has grown 6 sizes and that's a horrid thought. So perhaps something like a blog, which can be a regulator and a tracker for my diet can serve a good purpose. I'll have to see. Thankfully spring break is coming up in a week, so I can get myself together to concentrate on something besides school.