Pudgy Factor

Pudgy Factor

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I honestly can't say that I've battled a weight problem. I used to be the skinny tall kid up until I reached 15 or so -- then I started to gain some weight, but only a comfortable amount. During my teen years I maintained the same weight, all though high school and afterwards. It was when I approached mid-twenties that I started to gain more weight. I became increasingly sedentary, especially at my current job. I've been at this job for over 2.5 years, and gained about 15 lbs during that time, which is outrageous.

When you've got a tire around your body and you're sitting, it's tough. It's hard to breathe. When you stand tall, you can barely see your toes, because the tire's getting in the way.

My current job is rather stress-inducing, and school had been tough. Especially taking advanced level calculus courses! I spent most of my free time infront of the TV, munching on snacks, continuously, without acknowledging how much I had eaten. Toward the latter part of 2003, I casually logged into a website and calculated how much I had consumed in one day. I kept track meticulously for about 10 days, and realized that on average, I was consuming about 2500-2700 calories. For a woman my size, that's a lot of calories. And even with that many calorie-consumption, I wasn't eating much veggies and fruits, and was nutritiously unbalanced.

I exercised moderately, maybe 2-3 times a week. I decided not to push myself into doing something I wasn't ready to enjoy, like running 7 miles or something, because that would make me lose interest quickly, and we all know how short my attention span is! I also stopped eating while watching the telly. That was hard. My mouth felt empty. At school, I also tried to park on the high parking lot at school -- where you have to climb up a ziggurat like staircase (perhaps 4-5 stories?) to get to the car (Glendale College is notorious for the hike-trail to the parking lot). Since last April, I dropped about 13 lbs, and now I am no longer in the overweight catagory, as indicated by the BMI index. I'm trying to lower that and get into the early 20's on that scale -- 21 or 22 perhaps. I have also decided to chime in on Lauren's recent decision to lose 10 lbs by September. I have decided to join in on the fun and see if I can lose 10 lbs by Labor Day, and hopefully another 10 by the end of this year, as I did set as a 2004 New Year's resolution to lose a certain amount of weight and become a fit individual. We'll see how that goes -- if it goes well, it may be the first New Year's resolution ever to be a success.

"They are as passive as they have ever been."

"They are as passive as they have ever been."

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"They are as passive as they have ever been." says Kim Duk-young, a Korean sociologist. You know what? I was first outraged, but now I agree. There needs to be change.

Blogspot Blogs are Now Blocked

Blogspot Blogs are Now Blocked

The South Korean government has stated multiple times in bold faced print, that internet websites featuring the video of Kim Sun-il's beheading will be shut down and other methods of actions will be taken. Some idiot obviously posted the video of the beheading, and now Blogspot Blogs (made from Blogger) as well as Typepad blogs are now blocked (heard it first from here). Users can still use www.unipeak.com to view webpages.

Geez! My mom was telling me that everyone she knows has seen the video except her. Why would people go out of their way to traumatize themselves? I know an accident on the freeway keeps my own gaze fixated, but to go out of your way and search for the beheading of a fellow countryman -- why would you watch that? To make sure that it actually happened? We know it happened -- the body recently arrived in Korea. I am just sickened by people wanting to watch this! I know it was the same way when Americans were killed. Why can't you just go out and rent some quality snuff films? Does the reality of actual footage raise your endorphis? If so, you're a sicko. You're a sicko and a wacko and should be evaluated by a psychiatric facility. It's not normal, nor is it respectful to the dead, an innocent civilian, killed in a blatant display of terrorism. Have respect.

History

History

While trying to brainstorm ideas for a new template for the blog, I wondered why I never stored images of my past blog templates. Kind of like how artists keep prints of their work. I couldn't dig up all of them, as many weren't saved -- over the course of a year and nearly half of blogging, my blog has gotten about 8 facelifts (not counting small variations). My current blog's title is Haemi-Sphere v.8, but actually it should be v.8.1 or something, because I did merge the two leftside columns into one. But however, I don't even know if it is indeed template number 8, because I haven't kept track. I counted 7 versions, but I'm sure there's one that I am not remembering. So for that margin of error, Haemi-Sphere is currently on version 8, on its way to version 9.

I have found some past looks for my blog, and salvaged them into tiny jpg files. Let's walk down memory lane, shall we?

Bubbles - early 2003
This one is one of the earlier models, actually made by someone I can't remember. I do believe it is from Blogskins.com. This is not my original work, but it helped me understand the basics of html.

Orange you glad you came upon my blog? -- late 2003
Now this is one of my earlier works, but done by my own two hands. The picture of the orange, was not taken by me, but the image distortion (if you could call it that) was done by me, without photoshop or any expensive program! Irfanview helped me. It is probably my first blog template of my own designs.

Game of Life - February, 2004
Ah. Who doesn't remember this purply blog? I enjoyed it while I had it, but the dark purple was a bit drabby and rather haunting. I put in many hours of work into it, and this is probably the piece of work that made me completely understand the power of CSS. I had many errors that popped up, and took a long time to clear out each one. This one also did not work with netscape or mozilla firefox.

Dangerous Woman, version A -- second quarter of 2004
Looks familiar? It should! This is the original v.8 of Haemi-Sphere, where there are two skinnier columns on the left side. I used Microsoft Frontpage for this one. Learning how to work Frontpage was a killer, and I was annoyed at a lot of points. About 75% was typed out by hand, while 25% was done through Frontpage. After all that purpleness, I just wanted something with a white background with just a bit of art.

Dangerous Woman, version B -- summer 2004
And of course, this is the most current phase of Haemi-Sphere. By this time, I have grown to be a big "Shag" fan. The art featured in the Game of Life, Dangerous Woman, and the current Archives page is all works of the mighty Shag. He's brilliant, what can I say?

Dangerous Woman Archives -- first half of 2004
This one is the current archives page. It also contains a under-construction list of 100 things random things regarding myself. It's simple and nice, just like me!

We're All Gonna Die!

We're All Gonna Die!

We are.

We will all perish, and cease to exist. I don't have too much of a problem with death. That's pretty much fine and dandy, and although not a fantastic thought, I've accepted it as an integral part in a person's life. You're born, you'll die. All good things must come to an end, right?

Well, as I have said, I don't have a problem with death. What I have a problem with, is that I will cease being. I will be no more. That bothers me. That I can't continue to think and express and feel -- what happens to all my soul when I am dead? Is my soul just something created by dendrites releasing neurotransmitters into other synaptic vesicles and whatnot (I did poorly on the nervous system section in my anatomy/physiology class -- looks like I need a refresher course, so don't count on my being correct)that just ceases to fire when my heart stops functioning and my body goes kaput? I refuse to believe that.

I guess then the only answer would exist once I dive into some religion, as most religions teach the existence of an afterlife, whether reincarnation, heaven, purgatory, or hell, something happens after you die. You don't just vanish into thin air. I have a hard time believing that I can simply be just annhilated. A 100 years is a long a time, but very short for a lifetime, and just a lucky few of us will reach that even. So knowing all this, and feeling this way ... where do I go from here?

Late-Night Blogging: Eureka!

Late-Night Blogging: Eureka!

This will be brief (third brief post in a row!). I have decided to finally venture outside of my race, as far as dating goes. So rather than to be set up by knowing acquaintances, I decided to take my chances and move forward to the 21st century. On-line dating service websites have grown in popularity, and I am going to give it a go. If I can somehow filter out the perverted psychos (I know they're out there), it shouldn't be too unpleasant of an experience. Either way, as Mr. K. has said, it will give me more blogging material. Hopefully I will get to blog them, and not lose them to the infinity of unknown cyberspace, by stupid computer crashing.

Another Long Post Gone

Another Long Post Gone

Title speaks for itself. Must... press... "publish" before... post disappears.. again...

All Work and No Play

All Work and No Play

Makes Haemi a very frightening person.

Pixel Pusher

Pixel Pusher

I've got pixel pushing in my blood. I've actually kept this design (if I may so humbly refer it to a design, that is), because I actually liked it. It's pleasant on the eyes, without anything too bold that wears out its trendiness. It's a mild mannered blog look, I guess, except the words "Dangerous Woman" doesn't quite say that. But I can't stick with one thing forever. It's like wearing the same clothes everyday!

So I've decided to start working on a new template. I've actually had a complete hiatus away from pixels and color matching and measuring widths and heights and adding links and all sorts of things, so I'll need a refresher. But stay tuned for a new version of Haemi-Sphere to come your way... sometime July-ish. It will be a birthday present to myself.

World is Coming to an End

World is Coming to an End

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Well, as you all may have heard, an American civilian was held hostage by some al Qaida-related group and was killed last week. Today, a South Korean, who had been held hostage, was killed also. It's a sad day. On the Korean newspapers, they had pictures of the grief-stricken parents. There were candle-light vigils held all over. Can you imagine? The death of your child is horrible enough -- to have your child go out in this fashion... I can't even imagine their pain. Terrorism must be vanquished.

WOooooah there Monday!

WOooooah there Monday!

My goodness. So far it's been a craaaaazy Monday. I felt like a hamster in one of those exercise wheels! Running and running around, but just in circles. I sold 6 phones today. Do you have any idea how long it takes to sell 6 of these evil machineries? I would say for each one, at least a good hour goes into its sale. And I had plenty of other things to occupy my time during the day. A lot of whiners today complaining. Oh well. Thank goodness it's almost over!

Monday Mornin'

Monday Mornin'

I'm all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed today. Notice that the title isn't the Monday Mornin' Blues -- it's just Monday Mornin'. It's kind of overcast here -- well, it's probably just some marine layer that should burn off toward mid-day to reveal a marvelously sunny day, but for now, it's kind of dim -- kind of like how I imagine London's fog would be like.

Less than an hour at work, and I've already cracked down on our FedEx Ground bill (they were charging $11/week for every week that we had a pick-up request, even if it was just one pick-up!) and the SBC Yahoo! DSL service. It's nice to have those machines that you can speak to, rather than having to press numbers for everything. And they sound so life-like too! Mmm... longing for that human touch, I guess...

So what is this deal about not washing your hair for a week or somethin'? I guess it's a new fashionable thing, because supposedly washing your hair daily strips away a lot of moisture and leaves you with brittle and damaged hair! I've already read in several women's magazines, multiple times, mind you, about this new phenomenon. I can't really go too long without washing my hair. It gets loaded with grease and other icky stuff. These said magazines suggest using baby powder in your hair to absorb excess grease, then just shake it out and go on a hot date. I don't know. Maybe on white-haired people and some platinum blondes, that may work. People who have dandruff as a constant accessory may find no problem with white powder icked into hair. However, I do. I can just imagine myself walking around with white powder in my hair, thinking that it will absorb grease, so that I can walk around without washing the rug on my head for a few days! Talk about nasty! And to top it off, it would look like I have snow, or worse, dust, on my hair. It's like in the enlightenment era when fashionable and trendy people were powdering their wigs. Only after a long day, they can remove the damned furball off their heads, while mine remains rather intact.

I honestly think that this is one of the things that people will read in history, as we read about the middle ages and the renaissance and see how little people bathed and etc.. and get grossed out about it. Goodness people. Wash your g'damned hair. It's called simple hygene! (shudder)

Meeting Mr. K., Part 2

Meeting Mr. K., Part 2

I met Mr. K. again today for dinner and dessert. It may be my last time seeing him in person, perhaps forever, but hopefully just for the time being. I used to think that people qualifying for social security are old, but Mr. K. is hardly old. In fact, the word "old" doesn't quite describe him. He's got the zeal of a 15-year-old (without the teenage attitude) anyways.

We had lovely conversations about various things. I think sometime ago I thought that he would be this wise person who can tell me what the meaning of life is, but it turns out he's no obi-wan. He's still living life and finding out things and learning new things himself. But I found him to be older (than myself) and wiser (than myself) and he gave me a few pointers about life. General things, really, but I think he has further enhanced my ability to "chill out." Imagine that. I like to think that I am young, but I know that I'm uptight and a worry wart, and I take "live as though it were your last day alive" too seriously. No one thing in this life will be the be-all-and-end-all of life. Well, that was my initial reaction during our brief, but concentrated conversations. I really could have used at least half a dozen more convo sessions (they felt therapeutic!). There's really nothing quite like consulting a guru about something. Or something about nothing in specific.

I read the first few pages of The Moor's Last Sigh by Salman Rushdie, and found it to echo Gabriel Garcia Marquez's (you guessed it!) One Hundred Years of Solitude, my old friend and foe. I've battled with that book for years and never quite got it. Rushdie's novel so far, is more difficult to turn the pages (careful reading was necessary), but not monotonous, like 100. 100 was fluid and the pages turned quickly, but there was a lot of repetitions or seemingly repetetive circumstances and characters that made it difficult to finish. I'm hoping to finish Rushdie's novel before the end of June, because I think at this point, if I don't push myself to endurance, I may never finish. Then Moor will hang around for years, like 100, haunting me.

Lose Yourself

Lose Yourself

I'm no fan of rap music, but I've always enjoyed Eminem. This is one song that I particularly like: It's titled "Lose Yourself."

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

[...]

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

It's true. You only get one shot at life. Imagine yourself a member of the Lakers, during their final game. You only get that one game. Lose it, and you lose the championship. You only get one chance, and it's not really something you can revise and do-over. So is life.

We do many crazy things in life. I've done many in my own life, some I regret, some I learned from, and a few I'm proud of. One of my biggest fears, however, is to wake up one morning when I'm old and wrinkly, to find that my life wasn't lived as I wanted it to be lived. When I'm 70 years old and realize that I've done life all wrong... what can I do? Thankfully, I am young. I am 23 (soon 24 -- too soon), and have nearly half a century before I hit 70, or at least half a century to live out my life. If there is no such thing as destiny and fate, can I really live my life in the way that I would like?

And if that is possible, how exactly, do I want my life to be lived? I don't quite know, but I'll need to find out. It may change over the years, but at least knowing what it is at that moment will suffice. At least for the time being. If I wake up one morning when I am indeed old and hag-like, and realize that I've spent my life just doing some 9-5 job running the rat race, I know I'll be pulling out my hair and scream like nobody's business.

I am very unlike my peers my age, in that I am very anxious about time. Most youth feel as though time is on their side, and use it to their advantage. Perhaps fate has in store for me an early death which I am anticipating through anxiety. But I'm not like most youth -- in fact, I consider myself to be very old mentally. Most of the people I know honestly believe that my mindset is in its late 30's or possibly early 40's, because I don't possess that inner zeal for living life on the wild side and etc. I plan too much. I think of myself a victim of my circumstance, and perhaps that's true. What is really true is that I'm not like most people. I'm unique. I will demand more from my life than the average joe, and I will put up with less crap. I personally am pleased with the fact that I am somewhat of an existentialist; but I gotta tell you: it's like living in a constant mid-life crisis.