Things I'm Not Supposed to Know

Things I'm Not Supposed to Know

I use statcounter.com. It's the best, in terms of being comprehensive -- far superior than my sitemeter counter, which I have only kept because I've had it for a long while. According to a statcounter report, most of my visitors (to my blog) come and leave, and do not return. I do have just a handful (one hand full) of people who come by regularly -- to those I thanks you. It's motivation enough to keep me blogging through the worst of times as well as the best.

Nothing new on the western front today. Reagon's finally buried -- and I found out that most government run operations, such as the US Postal Service, shut down yesterday in observance. My life is still the same -- I'm trying to adjust to my life which does not have essays due the following day. I'm struggling -- I've lived with an anxiety about having papers due one after another, and it's kind of hard to let go of all that. Like a perpetual machine that was meant to just keep going and going.

California State University in Los Angeles is still open to accept applications until June 15, for the fall semester starting in September. In the midst of the California economic crisis (where public education was slammed down big time), it's a miracle. I am applying. I don't think I will get in, because it is really late in applying and my application isn't looking quite as stellar as I thought it would look. But I'll apply, and see where that takes me. Students who have attended a US High school for more than 3 years and have graduated or taken the GED examination, and are non-immigrant, non-resident, and non-visa holders (which is just INS's way of defining "undocumented aliens") actually can receive a college education at the same low price as California residents. It didn't apply to visa holders in the past, so I didn't qualify -- however, perhaps, now I do.

What's done is done. I can't refute a lot of the things happening to me right now, and I don't consider it a loss. I have regained my composure, or at least some of it, and have decided. Decided that my life will suck no matter what, but it is up to me to dig up nice things and find ways to make it more satisfying. If I let myself get defeated by my sucky life, I'm a loser also. And I'm not one to take things lying down -- I'll be kicking and screaming until my happiness is delivered to me!

So I'm out of my despondent stage, and onto my "It's My life" stage. I have learned one thing. I may never be a nurse. Certainly, I have never wanted to be a nurse. Maybe a physician, but never a nurse. I know I'm just too precious to be working 12-hour shifts cleaning out bed pans (sorry -- no offense to nurses). It's just not my thing. I need more rigor and spotlight -- as foolish as it sounds, I am a Leo, and I crave to be important.

So I'll probably not be a nurse, because it is no longer a way for me to obtain a green card in the US. But you know what? Since there are no stakes to be analyzed, no false hopes to grip onto, I am free to do what I want. Of course there are limitations -- I can't become the president of the US, but other things. Especially a writer. Perhaps I won't get paid. But I can be a writer anywhere in the world, be it the US, Korea, Siberia... preferably SoCal or Hawaii, but you get the point.

I'm not quite done thinking out this thing -- I'll continue when I get more of my thought organized into a neat streamlined train.

Another Splendid Day

Another Splendid Day

It's another splendid day here in SoCal. It's just about lunch time, which is always a good time. Today I feel like... drinking. Drinking heavily. There's nothing like clouding your mind with senseless alcohol binging to get your perspectives in order. I feel like martinis. Or actually, appletinies sound good. Something with a zing. A bite. Or really really frothy cold beer, you know, with just a bit of foam at the top, straight off the tap -- in a freezer chilled glass. I know I'm not much of a beer drinker (because I'm a wimpy Coors light/MGD/Corona/light beer drinker), but gosh darn it, some days I just feel like grabbing a beer.

Jajaja...

Jajaja

"Segun los psiquiatras, de cada cuatro personas una sufre de deficiencia mental. Si estas con tres amigos y no notas nada raro. Entonces, ¢®¢®el retardado eres tu!!"

Like Clockwork

Like Clockwork

It's been about three weeks since I've been getting less than 6 hrs of sleep a night (during the week; on Sunday morning, I try to make up sleep by sleeping until noonish). I have been going to bed a bit after midnight, and waking up as early as 5 AM to study and finish essays and such. Well, that's somehow crept into my habits. This morning, I have no reason to be up so early, but at 6AM, my eyes opened, even without the alarm going off! Eesh. If I can be trained to wake up so early on my own, old dogs can learn new tricks (don't give up on old dogs, people!). And again, I have started digressing. I'm just not myself these days. Give me a month or two or a year to recover from my current state of madness.

This is It

This is It

Well, this is it. My last paper is written, and my last final exam is in just hours. In less than 6 hours from now, all will be over. Well, at least for the time being anyway. My paper was supposed to be a satire in the style of Thomas More's Utopia. It doesn't sound too much like a satire to me. I did try to poke fun and jab at some things, but I don't think it was delivered well by my writing. I do think, however, that it should be something to appear on my Wasabi blog. I can't even remember what that was called now. I think it was the Sage Wasabi. Hmm.. It just goes to show how traumatically hectic my life has been. I will have to do some major tuning up to make it presentable. At my current point in life, when I have little hope to continue schooling next semester, grades are not my first priority. Since most of the exams are done with anyways, I decided that all's well that ends well. Well now. That saying doesn't seem to fit quite right. My brain is still a bit dysfunctional. Maybe after I recollect my sanity and clean my room tomorrow.

Recent Films

Recent Films

I love watching movies. I love going to the movies, but there always is a lot of inconveniences to deal with, and for that, I haven't been going to the movies quite so often. First of all, I really can't sit still for two hours in one place. Secondly, the cost of movies have skyrocketed (one place charges $12!), and I can barely afford them (maybe if I skip a meal and walk to the theatres...). Thirdly, more and more films are released, and more and more of them are duds. But thanks to A, I have regained that excitement of going to the movies. It turns out, even when they suck like there's no tomorrow, it can be a good experience when shared with a great person.

I saw Troy. Eh. It was alright. I think A was trying to do me a favor by picking a movie that contains so much eye candy for women to oogle at. Seeing Brad Pitt's butt was alright, but I seriously think that the director/actors/whoever made this picked something that was waaaaay above their league. The Illiad is a masterpiece; you can do it in a fantastic manner, or you can just do terribly. There's no settling for just "good" on this one. You can't! You can either further glorify Homer's epic, or you're just not going to do it justice at all. Perhaps I'm just taking too much of a scholarly approach. After doing a term paper on the Aeneid and the Odyssey, I can't help it. The story line was good, and I really don't see too much of a flaw in the actors involved. I would recommend that you see it without a preimposed impression on what it should be. Don't get any scholarly ideas in your pretty head. Just hand over the money and relax.

Day After Tomorrow. This one, I can say that it isn't worth the time. It's effects of the waves hitting the statue of liberty are more than grandiose. I can if you are one of those computerized effects junkie, you'd love it. The story line was really shady -- it's been compared to Deep Impact by many I know, but most seem to think that it isn't quite as good as Deep Impact. I'm not a disaster movie fan, so I haven't seen that one. I don't mean to give anything away, but the scene with some wolves... what the heck? That just seemed like they tried to hard to incorporate these wolves into the plot, that it didn't seem natural. But seeing Manhattan buried in snow. That was very well done. But pretty much all of it is seen during the television advertisements, and in the previews you see in theatres. If you saw a preview at a theatre before whatever your feature presentation was, you've seen enough. There really isn't much more effects beyond the ones already shown.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. This one was good. I do think that the first two (which I saw simultaneously on DVD) are much better. However, the third one does live up to the first two, although it didn't quite reach the expectations. I mean, after the first two, you'd expect it to be as brilliant, but it wasn't as great as I expected. However, it was more than adequate. It could be that because I am a HP fan. The plot reflects what JK Rowling wrote, except some things were a bit confusing. Unless you read between the lines and studied the previous two films, there were some shady points where clarity was missing. A bit of fine tuning was in need, I guess. But it was a good film, worth my time (opportunity costs are quite high especially now, because I am in the midst of final exams!). Enjoyable. A bit darker than the first two.

My thoughts and writing are so incoherent today. Hmm. It could be because it is just Sunday and I'm just a bit worn out. It could also be that I had to write so many essays (some of my final exams were essay exams) and my brain just about had it, or because I have yet another essay to write and I'm dreading it. Ah. Life of the perpetual English major.

President Reagon

President Reagon

When I first came to the US, Ronald Reagon was president. I was just 3 or 4 years old, and did not have a political conscience at the time. However, that period of my life is marked by sheer happiness -- there is not a single moment of unhappiness that I can recall from my life in the 80's. Cynics may say that it was a state of ignorant bliss, but I was happy. I was carefree. While on the surface most people may thing that children are oblivious to consequential things and unpleasant events at such an early age, it is completely untrue. I know many people who are deeply wounded by pain inflicted at an early age, and pain during this point in childhood is probably the most difficult to bear. Nevertheless, I was blessed, because my childhood was fabulous. When I think of my preschool and kindergarten days, although I don't remember much, I think of sunny SoCal skies. Much like California weather, I don't think that there was ever a rainy day, or even just an overcast one. It was perfectly sunny, brilliant. Just awesome. And that is how I think of Ronald Reagon's presidency.

I guess it is unfair to judge other presidents because I became more politically aware during their presidencies, or because I learned about them in history books, while I judge Reagon's presidency by my state of bliss at the time. The truth is, I know very little of Reagon's political influences. All the US History classes I have ever taken do not emphasis modern history. They seldom even go up to the 1980's; most end with the Vietnam war and slightly mention something about the cold war, but not too much, because at that point, the semester is coming to an end, and the teachers realize (although a little too late) that they spent too much time on the Revolution, Civil War and the World Wars. So the little information I have to gather about Reagon is what I felt like while he was president.

I can't help but believe that he was a big part of the 80's, and that was when I was happy, therefore there is some sort of relationship between those two things. Well, that wasn't much of a eulogy to Reagon. But I really doubt that I will see those sunny skies the way I did back then... literally or politically.