I love this page... autumn is a really nice season... too bad that southern california doesn't have an autumn. That being said, I am not particularly enjoying the effects of this page... To busy. I want something crisp and clean -- functional with a style -- albeit a minimalist style. If anyone has a template they would like to recommend, e-mail me... There's a link somewhere on the right side of this page. Or you can just do it yourself: haemicuda@yahoo.com.

While browsing, I came upon the Gender Genie. It is quite interesting. You either type or copy and paste a block of text, and based on the number of times the writer mentions certains words , like numbers, the, etc.. it tells you whether the author is female or male. It's supposed to be based on some algorithm, and supposedly 80% accurate. So far, it's rate is about 50%. All the ones I have tried, except one block-o'-text by a Mr. Shawn everything came out right. I put in an exerpt from Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karenina, and the genie got it right. Pretty cool, huh?

What is this dark-yet-not-opaque beverage I am gulping? Yikes, it is the abominable c o f f e e. Yes, after my tummy-illness, I have vowed to keep clear much of caffeinated products such as coke, but namely coffee. At least for a week, until my insides heal. I am not doctor, but I personally felt that my excessive intake of caffeine via coffee was too stimulating for my colons, therefore leading to severe dehydration, exacerbated by the long hours spent on the potty due to frequent diarrhea. Just three days later, I am feeling slightly better, and I just could not keep away much longer.... gotta have that coffee!! So much for that. But I have an easier time keeping away from carbonated sources of caffeine, like Coke.

Speaking of Coke, Coke rocks. Vanilla Coke and Cherry Cokes rock even more. Boo Pepsi, Boo... Their recent airing of commercials on television, where Pepsi Vanilla is introduced is such a shallow attempt to attack Coke for bringing it first into the world. When will Pepsi understand? Coke came first! Cherry Coke is better known than its adversary, the Cherry Pepsi. Notice that Crystal Clear Pepsi and Pepsi Blue are fads that faded so fast, hardly anyone remembers them. Here's what's most repulsive in the advertising: There is a vanilla coke truck at a stop light. A pepsi vanilla truck drives up next to it. The drivers look at each other, and the coke guy turns on some mellow pop music loudly and enjoys his music. The pepsi guy opens the sides of his truck to reveal extremely large sub-woofers or whatever those giant mammoth speakers are called, and plays some sort of hip-hop music, very very loudly, and the truck is bouncing up and down. The denizens on the sidewalk join in on the music by dancing and cheering. Pepsi guy drives off, and Coke guy is left behind. What is wrong with that advertisement? I can't even begin to say!

You can now view this page in different languages, such as Korean, Spanish, etc..! From experience, translation is not that great... but my page is so fantastic, it will be worth reading the horrible translations!

The following blog entry contains violent, sexual, or graphic content. It may have adult situations -- reader discretion is advised.

I am just extremely sick right now. I am not sure of the culprit... possibly some kind of virus or something I've eaten... all I know is I got so much stuff coming out of both ends of my body, I'd rather be mutilated by Jason Voorhee's machete. I even had to leave work early by 2.5 hrs, because of the unbearable pain. On my way home, I had to make two stops to go to the bathroom... one at a gas station whose "women" bathroom was "out of order." There was a middle-eastern/indian/pakistani/excuse-my-politically-ignorant-self guy working there, and I asked him, "can I use the restroom?" and he replied, straight faced, "for you, it will be five dollars." I smiled, wondering if this was a joke or not. The people in line chuckled nervously, as though they, too, were confused on whether to laugh or remain stoic. At that point, I would have paid $10 to get into a bathroom. Hell, if you were about to have things shooting out of your ass at 50 mph, you'd pay too! So I told him, "I'm sorry. I really have to go. It'll be worth the five bucks." He gave me a key. I ran to the other side of the station, and saw the "out of order" sign glaring at me. I ran to the men's room next door, and opened it, and carried out my business. First time in a men's bathroom, and surprisingly enough, there was NO difference, other than that the toilet seat was up. I did my business, and although I couldn't enjoy any satisfaction (diarrhea tends to come in multiple-episode packages) but I was good for the time being. Mind you, this emergency happening happened merely twelve or so blocks away from work. Yep, I got that far before coming down with an attack. Anyways, I returned the key to the brown-faced clerk (I was liking the brown color so much at that moment), and politely said "thank you" in my most gracious tone. As I was walking away from the counter, he yelled, "hey, what about the five bucks?" By this time, I had regained my common sense, and realized that no trip to the potty costs five bucks, even in LA, so I walked up to counter, gave him a pissed look, and said "you serious?" in my most ghetto/colloquial voice. (Of course I am way too prim and proper to sound anywhere near ghetto...) and he said "nah... you can go." So the moral of today's story is... È­Àå½Ç µé¾î°¥¶§ ¶û ³ª¿Ã¶§¶û ¸¶À½ÀÌ ´Ù¸£´Ù. That's Korean for... you have a different points of view when you enter the bathroom, and exit the bathroom. Let me elaborate: When you gotta go, no price is too high for a trip to see the john. John's price plummets when you leave, because you are no longer in need of that particular item. That's the moral of today's story, but my moral for the day isn't quite clear. Is it to avoid dairy? Carry a bottle of pepto bismol and chug it every now and then? Maybe that's why I have these repeated bouts with what I euphemistically call the "stomach flu." I haven't learned my lesson. But hey, if anal leakage isn't a lesson/punishment enough, I don't know what is.